TOEFL writing practice: Should you make decisions alone?


#1

Hi I would really be grateful if someone could rate this essay.

Q: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

A person should never make an important decision alone.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

There are myriad opinions regarding the issue of whether a person should make a crucial decision on his own. While some espouse the belief that a man must make important decisions alone, others adamantly oppose and criticise this idea, vehemently supporting the other side. In my opinion a person should not make important decisions alone. There are several reasons why I take this stance.

For starters, a person should have a second opinion before taking an important decision. If someone provides advice, a person might have a new viewpoint and that might help him make a clearer and firm decision. To illustrate, my cousin was thinking of moving to a new home, away from her family. She asked advice from me regarding this decision. Her reasons seemed convincing; she wanted to be independent and she wanted more privacy. However, I also explained how she would be alone and since she knew no one in the area she would be moving to, she would be unsafe. She is now looking for apartments near my residence. In the meantime, she is living with her parents. Had she made her decision alone, it could have led to a disastrous conclusion.

Moreover, people might feel frustrated when they are making a significant decision alone. They might feel pressurised about the matter and as a result, they might end up making the wrong decisions. For instance, my sister was thinking of taking a divorce from her husband. She said that they had been fighting for a couple of days and she had not been able to think clearly. She consulted with me and my parents. We gave her consolation, helped her amend her ties with her husband and today she has a thriving family of her own. In stark contrast, if she had made her decisions on her own, today she might not have been elated.

Finally, people may not make the right decision on their own. When making a important decision, say pursuing a career, they may be inexperienced about the subject. Consequently, they could end up making a horrible decision which they might regret in future. Teenagers are novices in our specialised and challenging world. When making crucial decisions, like whether to study in college or which subjects to take, they might get confused. Hence, they need advice from their guardians or teachers. Advice from an experienced and educated individual can make the results of a teenager’s decision more fruitful.

To conclude, I reassert my view that a person must never make important decisions alone. I concur, that there is no ideal answer regarding this issue. However, I feel that a new outlook, the stress of making a decision alone and the disadvantage of being a tyro on the matter to be decided on, are powerful reasons that make my argument justifiable.


My third post: TOEFL integrated essay
#2

Wow anaam, this essay is outstanding. Your writing is extremely clear and your vocabulary is challenging yet always perfectly used. You have included extensive detailed examples and related them back to the prompt and your thesis very effectively. It was very hard for me to find anything to comment on or suggest, but I gave it a shot! I really expect an essay like this to score a 5. In the past, I have used the words super-duper to describe excellent essays like this one that can serve as valuable templates for other learners. Search for “super-duper” on the forum search function to read all of them. Congratulations once again!


#3

Thank you so much Luschen. I’ll definitely check out the other “super-duper” TOEFL essays!


#4

Hi Luschen,

Since I’ve become acquainted to these kinds of TOEFL independent essays. I’ve practiced two different kinds of essays. If you have time, please have a look. Do you think the format is correct? If you have any suggestions, please let me know.

Here’s the link:


Regards,
Anaam