Dear Teacher,
Please help to correct my writing and give some feedback for my essay IELTS writing task 2. Thank you very much!
Traffic and housing problems in major cities could be solved by moving large companies and factories and their employees to the countryside. Do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that big firms, industrial factories, and their workers should be transferred to rural areas in order to tackle traffic and accommodation problems. To some extent, I agree that these measures might effective, but I also argue that It would bring out some negative points.
There are various reasons why relocation to the countryside might be feasible. To begin with, moving large groups to suburban areas could reduce the number of private vehicles. This can be explained by the fact that during peak hours there are a variety of transports traveling back and forth between home and places of work. By transferring their companies’ location to the countryside, residents are more likely to move to this site for the sake of easier transportation and accommodation. Therefore, bumper-to-bumper traffic and housing questions in cities would be solved.
Despite these afore-mentioned arguments, I would agree that certain serious disadvantages might stem from the movement of companies from urban areas to suburban areas. Firstly, this relocation to the countryside leads to the degradation of the environment. The reason is the disposal of industrial waste and raw materials for production could harm the local natural resources. For example, some industrial factories dispose toxic waste into the rivers in which residents living nearby use for drinking water. Consequently, they will be poisonous and fall into serious diseases. Secondly, it is within the realm of possibility that there might be an acceleration in the crime rate in the provincial areas since numerous people flock to this place. As a result, this movement would inflict harm on society.
In conclusion, I support the policy of shifting companies, factories, and their employees from big cities to rural areas. However, It should be considered because this could also be the culprit of the deceleration of the environment and residents’ quality of life.