TOFEL IBT independent writing practice

Dear Sir/Madam, please help evaluate my independent essay. Thank you very much! :heart:

“Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
To be a successful person, one must be open to new ideas and willing to change his or her mind.”

When it comes to the secret to be successful, opinions vary from person to person. Some believe the persistence, others insist diligence. From my perspective, however, always willing to embrace new ideas and changes is the determining factor of success.

To begin with, being open to new things enables people to collect more information and expand the knowledge pool, thus making the best choice in the way towards success. People often limit their cognition within what there are familiar with, and are afraid of stepping out of the comfort zone. But sometimes it is something strange or risky that may reveal a completely new field and direct to a huge achievement for people. Jack Ma, the CEO of Alibaba Group, started his business when few people thought e-commerce prospective. Nevertheless, he recognized the potential of this brand-new commercial mode and began to put efforts on it. With the development of Internet, his business quickly became a definite success. Now, everybody in China relies on Tmall, Taobao, and Alipay, which are all Jack Ma’s company. So new ideas can lead people to creative and wonderful projects.

Second, people who are ready to accept new ideas and change their minds can be more flexible in any situation. Difficult situations are common in everybody’s life and career, but if people don’t stick in the mud, it is easier for them to bounce up in case of predicament. The New Oriental Education & Technology Group is famous for its teaching. Unfortunately, China recently passed a new policy to ban extra-curricular training, which is a disastrous blow for the Group. After careful consideration, the president of the Group, Yu Minhong, decided to shift their business to live broadcasting and products advertising, combing the teachers’ excellent expression skills with Chinese market trends. And the facts prove that they are making another great victory. Therefore, never being stubborn but finding ways through new direction is significant for people’s success.

As mentioned above, in order to succeed, it is critical for people to be open to new ideas and willing to change minds. In that case, they can have the opportunity to create brilliant projects and easily get through hard times.

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When it comes to the secret of success, opinions differ from person to person. Some believe in perseverance, others in diligence. From my point of view, however, the willingness to embrace new ideas and changes is the decisive factor for success.

First of all, being open to new things allows you to gather more information and expand your knowledge pool to make the best choices on the path to success. People often limit themselves to what they are familiar with and are afraid to step out of their comfort zone. But sometimes it’s something unusual or risky that opens up a whole new field and can lead to great success for people. Jack Ma, the CEO of Alibaba Group, founded his company at a time when few people gave e-commerce any perspective. Nevertheless, he recognized the potential of this brand new form of commerce and began to champion it. With the development of the Internet, his company quickly became a huge success. Today, everyone in China relies on Tmall, Taobao and Alipay, all of which belong to Jack Ma’s company. So new ideas can lead people to creative and wonderful projects.

Second, people who are willing to accept new ideas and change their minds can be more flexible in any situation. Difficult situations are common in everyone’s life and career, but if you don’t get stuck in the mud, it is easier to get out of a predicament. New Oriental Education & Technology Group is famous for its teaching activities. Unfortunately, China recently adopted a new policy to ban extracurricular education, which is a devastating blow to the group. After careful consideration, the president of the group, Yu Minhong, decided to shift the business to live broadcasting and product promotion, combining the excellent expression skills of teachers with Chinese market trends. And the facts prove that they win another big victory. Therefore, it is important for people’s success not to be stubborn, but to find new ways.

As mentioned above, it is essential for people to be open to new ideas and willing to change their minds in order to succeed. In this case, they have the opportunity to create brilliant projects and survive difficult times.

Thanks so much for your time! I’ll try to do the things mentioned in your advice! (^-^

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