Rewrite - IELTS Task 2 - Having too many choices

Hi coaches, below is my rewrite essay from the same topic with yesterday. Please have a look at it again. Thank you so much for your patience and time :slight_smile:

Many people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Thanks to the development of technology as well as the improvement in manufacturing industry, information is spread out over the world rapidly and bring people a huge number of choices today. However, I strongly believe that we are exposed to more than enough options for our lives.

Firstly, it is the fact that the invention of Internet has provided undeniable advantages for human life. But on the other hand, it also created the information overload phenomenon in our society which leads to the result that many useless knowledge and wrong advices are published freely without any censorship. Due to that, people nowadays will be lost in choices and can not choose the most suitable option for themselves. For example, in the past, there were only two or three newspapers a week for kids to read with suitable and positive information at their ages. In contrast, today a boy can easily get access to the world wide web and read anything they want, including those bad news and articles with wrong knowledge.

Secondly, the manufacturing industry has extended a lot for the last century which means that there was a significant increase in the number of production companies. Because they have to compete each other for profits, they then put in a lot of unnecessary accessories into their products and introduce more and more forms of goods to give customer more options to choose. For instance, todays there are plenty of choices for people to choose even when it is only a shampoo such as the designing of the bottle, the additional smelt or the sizes we want to take. Some people will argue that these add-ins help us feel more interesting when we go shopping, but in fact, they waste your time and make you become distracted from the real quality of a product.

Inconclusion, I believe that people today have too many options to consider before making a decision which come as the downside of the development in technology and manufacturing industry in recent years.

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(Please equip yourself with ample stuff before beginning to write an essay. Remember the acronym CODE which suggests conceive, organize, develop and express what you want to convey. Your essay may test the patience of the person who evaluates it. Sorry.)

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Thank you for your comments. I will practise more :slight_smile: See you later in my next essay :smiley:

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What you might want to try is using shorter sentences for starters. That way you will have more control over your text in terms of accuracy and structure.

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