Please rate my TOEFL essay

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people enjoy life more than older people do. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Life is a journey meant to be cherished and appreciated by everyone. While some people have the opinion that young people enjoy their life more than old people, I believe the opposite. People who have lived through a portion of their life tend to have a better time than those are just starting out with theirs.

Older folks have spent their early years working hard to secure their future. They have met a majority of their obligations and have fewer responsibilities as compared to their younger counterparts. This allows them to have more leisure time and indulge in activities that they might not would have when they were younger. For instance, a man who is just starting out in his career has responsibilities towards his family, his job and himself. He is concerned about securing the future of his family and saving up enough so as to guarantee he leads a comfortable life after he retires. This gives him less time to spend on activities that he would like to do such as travelling, whereas someone who is retired and has fulfilled his responsibilities is free to pursue his desires to do whatever he wants. Therefore, an older person is likely to have more time to invest in his interests than someone younger and hence can enjoy himself more.

People who are older also tend to partake in new activities more as compared to young individuals. Since they have less responsibilities, they tend to take risks and enjoy their life to the fullest. They tend to stay healthier both mentally and physically and hence are in a much better space of mind compared to young people who are stressed because of work and the everyday challenges of life. A younger person would be concerned about his performance at work, the bills that are due, saving up for the future and this leads to a tremendous amount of stress. Therefore, an older person is much more likely to be relaxed and adventurous.

In conclusion, while there are definite benefits to being young and carefree, older people generally tend to have a much better time as compared to young ones. After all, it is true what they say, age is just a number.


I think you might be able to score 24 points but the question is why you would be wasting your time on such an utterly futile exercise?

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Should I take TOEFL coaching separately? Or only essay section in SAT is enough? I am planning to take admission USA.

Hi Naorem, welcome to our forum. What exactly would you like to know? What do you mean by ‘TOEFL coaching’ and what is ‘take admission USA’ supposed to mean?

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