Hi everyone. I wonder your feedback and estimated band score

Some people think that students in high school should study music as a compulsory school subject.
Others believe that such a requirement would be a waste of valuable school study time.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In an accelerating world these days, music certainly plays a crucial role in all our lives. Some people argue that the study of music in high school is a waste of valuable school time, while those who criticize the idea hold the view that musical training and study is an important part of education development. In this essay, I will take a closer look at both views of the issues followed by my opinion.

On the one hand, it is true that when it comes to the study and application of music, not everyone is suited. Some people are unable, for example, to sing in tune or play various instruments no matter how hard they try. For these people, learning music may be a waste of their time. Additionally, musical instruments are often very expensive and parents may not be able to afford them.

On the other hand, it is quite well–known that music can play an important part in the development of the human brain. When you listen to music, multiple areas of your brain become engaged and active, but when you play an instrument, that activity becomes more like a full-body brain workout. Therefore, when students learn music, they are improving their mental development. Besides, the learning of a musical instrument requires patience, determination, and consistency. There are certainly desirable traits for young high school students to develop. In fact, for some people, they may feel stressed or exhausted, but when they sing or play an instrument, they feel renewed and refreshed.

In conclusion, it seems that there are both advantages and disadvantages of studying music in high schools.


Although I do understand what you mean by the expression ‘in an accelerating world’ you still might want to rephrase it since it’s not a standard phrase.


Thank you very much @Torsten for your response. I am waiting for your estimated band score and other comments.


Sure. What you can also do is read through the comments @Sumejja has made here: