I am not qualified enough to discuss the topic (“language and gender”).
But I’ve found a fresh review (in Russian) and dare translate some points (just to make distinguish between a scientific view and an informal blablabla to spend time):
(Sorry, my English is not impeccable but hopefully I’ll be able to impart the main meaning and viewpoint.)
Peculiarities of communicative style are considered in terms of the following oppositions: “debate vs. relate”, “report vs. rapport”, “competitive vs. cooperative”.
When discussing a problem, men often aim to find ‘simple decisions’ and ‘good advice’, whereas women try to bridge relations and openly express sympathy and empathy.
…women tend to tell about their private life and feelings and try to involve in communication all people around…
… men try to demonstrate their knowledge, possession of information; frequently changing a subject and trying to set a hierarchy in conversation.
Doctor Lillian Glass (1992)… found out that…
women more often use intensificators like few. so, really, quite, much;
changing a subject, women more often use conjunctions and, but, however. whereas men more often use exclamations, like ’Hey!’, ‘Oh!’, ‘Listen!’;
women more often use ‘tag ending’, for example, “It’s a nice day, isn’t it?”, whereas men more often use an affirmative form “It’s a nice day.”
women asks more questions to intensify a conversation;
In 1975 Robin Lakoff published a book Language and Woman’s Place in which she gave a list of characteristic features of women speech. They more than men use:
extra polite forms: “Would you mind…”, “I’d appreciate it if…”, “…if you don’t mind”,
phrases: “sort of”, “kind of”, “it seems like”,
tag questions: “You’re going to dinner, aren’t you?”,
inflexional emphasis: so, very, quite,
‘empty’ adjectives, like divine, lovely, adorable,
‘super-right’ grammar ( ),
intensifiers so, very: “I am so glad you came!”
[size=84]1.Bock, Ute (1996): Frauensprache - M?nnersprache: Fakt oder Artefakt. Berlin.
2. Chambers, J.C. (1992): “Linguistic Correlates of Gender and Sex”. English World Wide 13: 173-218.
3. Coates J. Women, men and language. London; New York, 1989
4. Coates, Jennifer (19932): Women, Men and Language. London.
5. Coates, Jennifer (ed) (1998): Language and Gender: A Reader. Oxford.
7. Coates, Jennifer/Cameron, Deborah. (eds.) (1989): Women in Their Speech Communities. London.
8. Dubois, Betty/Crouch, Isabel (1975): “The Question of Tag Questions in Women’s Speech: They Really Don’t Use More of Them”. Language in Society 4: 289-294.
9. Dr. Lillian Glass. He Says, She Says: Closing the Communication Gap Between the Sexes. Putnam, 1992.
10. Holmes, Janet (1992): An Introduction to Sociolinguistics. London.
11. Holmes, Janet: “Women’s Talk: The Question of Sociolinguistci Universals”. In: Coates, Jennifer (ed.) (1998): Language and Gender: A Reader. Oxford: 461-483.
12. Kramarae, Cheris/Spender, Dale (eds.) (1992): The Knowledge Explosion. New York.
13. Lakoff, Robin (1972): “Language in Context”. Language 48/4: 907-927.
14. Lakoff, Robin: “The Social Context of Language Use”. (1973): Lecture delivered at the Linguistic Summer Institute. Ann Arbor.
15. Lakoff, Robin (1975): Language and Women’s Place. New York.
16. Maltz, Daniel/Borker, Ruth: “A Cultural Approach to Male-Female Miscommunication”. In: Gumperz, John (ed.) (1982): Language and Social Identity. Oxford: 281-312.
17. Martin, F.: “Some Subjective Aspects of Social Stratification”. In Glass, D. (ed.) (1954): Social Mobility in Great Britain. London.
18. Sacks, Harvey/Schegloff, Emanuel/Jefferson, Gail (1974): “A simplest Systematics for the Organization of Turn-Taking for Conversation”. Language 50: 696-735.
19. Sherman, Julia (1978): Sex-related Cognitive Differences: An Essay on Theory and Evidence. Springfield, IL.
20. Thorne, Barrie/Henley, Nancy (eds.) (1975): Language and Sex: Difference and Dominance. Rowley, MA.
21. Torres, Lourdes: “Women and Language. From Sex Differences to Power Dynamics”. In: Kramarae, Cheris/Spender, Dale (eds.) (1992): The Knowledge Explosion. New York: 281-290.
22. Zimmerman, Don/West, Candice: “Sex Roles, Interruptions and Silences in Conversations”. In: Thorne, Barrie/Henley, Nancy (eds.) (1975): Language and Sex: Difference and Dominance.
23. West, Candace/Zimmerman, Don: “Doing Gender”. In: Lorber, Judith/Farrell, Susan (eds.) (1991): The Social Construction of Gender. London: 13-37.[/size]
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All the best,