In my country there was a big tendency in the late 1960s and 1970s for better-educated people to live together without being married, and this trickled down through the society as a whole.
However, living together without benefit of marriage has a lot of disadvantages, especially for the woman, so now better-educated people may live together for a little while, but eventually they get married. More and more Americans are doing it the old way and marrying first. This is one more reason why Europeans seem to us to have their brains stuck back in the 1960s.
Most Americans think a woman is stupid to live together with a man for very long (or at all) before demanding marriage – and most of them think she’s even stupider to have children in that situation.
On the other hand, our social welfare system won’t give poor people assistance if there is an able-bodied father in the house. This has resulted in a situation where many poor women (often starting as teenagers) just have children by various men in order to get more government money, but they never have any intention of marrying any of the fathers of any of their children. We say that these women “marry the state”. The laws were written when living together was unusual, so the politicians never expected this situation to arise. Now that the genie is out of the bottle, they’re having trouble putting it back in.
The result is a society in which the middle and upper classes get married (whether right a way or after living together for a little while), while huge numbers of people in the lower classes never get married.
I think that a lot of people live together first because they think that getting married requires an expensive “dream wedding”, so they live together for a long time after they should already have been married, because they are “getting ready for their wedding” – for years!
Many men prefer to live with the woman without marrying her, because, as the saying goes, “Why buy the cow, when the milk is free?”
Statistics are now available for the results of these live-in relationships, and they don’t look good. Couples who live together before they marry have a much higher divorce rate than couples who move in together AFTER they marry. The reason is that evidently people who live together, and take a long time to make a lifelong commitment before getting married, also aren’t good at maintaining a lifelong commitment AFTER they marry.