Young people to have the ability to plan and organize?

[Tesoke]

Hi Luschen, would you please evaluate and score the following writing. I did not revised the writing after the exam to get my real score. So it might be full of errors. Sorry and Thanks a lot.

Question
Do you agree or disagree: Because modern life is very complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize.

Essay
Having the ability to plan is very important for all people and can help them to live better and solve their problems. About the modern life which is very complex, I think that it is essential for all and even more essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize, because of the following reasons.

First of all, we have many complicated technologies in modern life. For having a better life, young people should plan to learn them and the methods of using them. Youngs should organize their time to work with new technologies again and again and update into new versions. For example, my father says that when he was young, he was not obligated to plan learning the usage of cellphone and computers. People were acomplishing their works with similar technologies which did not need more education. My father never went to a class to learn some thing about technology. His experience proves that today, young people should plan their life better to learn more technologies.

Furthermore, job opportunities are changing very fast today. So, young people should have the ability to distinguish this changes and then plan to be ready for the future. They should organize their time to learn future jobs’ requirements. For example, I read in a magazine that the next robotic technology will change all companies in twenty years, because plants will do many works with automatons and will not need simple workers. Young people should plan to get harder works which will not acomplish with the robotic technologies. We can understand from this article that young people should have the ability to plan and organize to garantee their future.

Last but not the least, modern life is full of problems. Young people will be the officials of the future and they need the planning and organizing ability to decide to solve those problems. For example, we are in trubble because of the global warming but we could not solve this problem. I think the main reason is that the previous generations could not plan properly and not organize international agancies to work on this problem. It is obvious that many species will be dead in futere and young people like other people should think and cooperate with eachother to find better solusition. This proves that youngs should have the ability to plan.

In conclusion, I definitely think that young people should have the ability to plan and organize the complex modern life, which changes very fast and is full of problems. I encourage all young people to focus on improve this ability to have a better life in their future.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of Anthropology

[Luschen]

Hi Tesoke, I thought your writing in this one was pretty good, but your arguments and examples did not seem exactly what the prompt was aiming at. Your main points are young people need to plan and organize to learn new technology, and they need to plan and organize to get jobs that won’t be automated. These two reasons don’t seem to focus very much on planning and organizing, and you don’t really explain the connection very clearly. Your last reason is better, but it would be good to show why organizing is so important, namely because individuals are powerless to make the big changes necessary so we all need to organize together in large groups with careful planning in order for any changes to happen. For this prompt, I would think focusing more on a personal level might be good. People today are so busy with so many different activities, everything goes at a breakneck pace and there are so many demands on our time that without planning and organizing our day it is very difficult to get anything done at all. I would explore more along those lines. Is this practice for the TOEFL or the IELTS?

@Tesoke

Hi Luschen, would you please evaluate and score the following writing. I did not revised the writing after the exam to get my real score. So it might be full of errors. Sorry and Thanks a lot.

Question
Do you agree or disagree: Because modern life is very complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize.

Essay
Having the ability to plan is very important for all people and can help them to live better and solve their problems. About {“Concerning” sounds better here} the modern life which is very complex, I think that it is essential for all and even more essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize, because of the following reasons.

First of all, we have many complicated technologies in modern life. For having [To have] a better life,{a better life, used here and above, sounds a little vague} young people should plan to learn them {“learn technologies” sounds a bit odd - maybe “learn about technology” or “master technology”} and the methods of using them. Youngs[ters] {“youngs” is not really used as a noun - “youth” is ok} should organize their time to work with new technologies again and again and update into new versions. For example, my father says that when he was young, he was not obligated to plan learning the usage {“plan learning the usage” sounds awkward} of cellphone[s ] and computers. People were acomplishing their [work] with similar [simpler] technologies which did not need more [require much] education. My father never went to a class to learn [anything] some thing about technology. His experience proves that today, young people should plan their life better to learn more technologies. {this is ok, but the “planning and organizing” aspect of this needs to be stressed more, since that is what the prompt is talking about}

Furthermore, job opportunities are changing very [quickly] fast today. So, young people should have the ability to distinguish th[ese] changes and then plan to be ready for the future. They should organize their time to learn future jobs’ requirements. For example, I read in a magazine that the next robotic technology will change all companies in twenty years, because plants will do [much work] many works with automatons and will not need simple [unskilled] workers. Young people should plan to get harder works [jobs] which will not [be] acomplish[ed] with the robotic technologies. We can understand from this article that young people should have the ability to plan and organize to [guarantee] their future.

Last but not the least, modern life is full of problems. Young people will be the officials of the future and they need the planning and organizing ability to decide {“to determine how to solve” seems better here} to solve those problems. For example, we are in [trouble] because of the global warming but we could [have not been able to] not solve this problem. I think the main reason is that the previous generations could not plan properly and [did] not organize international agancies to work on this problem. It is obvious that many species will be dead in [future] and young people like other people should think and cooperate with eachother to find better [solutions]. This proves that [youths] should have the ability to plan.

In conclusion, I definitely think that young people should have the ability to plan and organize the complex modern life, which changes very [quickly] and is full of problems. I encourage all young people to focus on improv[ing] this ability to have a better life in their future.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of Anthropology

[Tesoke]

Thank you so much. It is for TOEFL and I should take this exam at 18 February.

[Torsten]

The ability to plan is very important for all people and can help them live better and solve their problems. As for modern life, which is very complex, I think the ability to plan and organize is important for all people, and especially for young people, for the following reasons.

First, in modern life we have many complicated technologies. To have a better life, young people should plan to learn them and learn the methods of using them. Young people should manage their time so that they can always work with new technologies and update them to new versions. For example, my father says that when he was young, he was not required to learn how to use cell phones and computers. People did their jobs with similar technologies that required no further training. My father never took a class to learn about technology. His experience proves that young people today should plan their lives better to learn more technologies.

Besides, job opportunities are changing very fast nowadays. Therefore, young people should be able to recognize these changes and then plan to be prepared for the future. They should manage their time to learn about the requirements of future jobs. For example, I read in a magazine that the next robot technology will change all companies in twenty years because factories will do many jobs with automats and will no longer need ordinary workers. Young people should prepare for harder work that cannot be done with robot technology. We can understand from this article that young people should have the ability to plan and organize to secure their future.

Last but not least, modern life is full of problems. Young people will be the officials of the future, and they need the ability to plan and organize to decide how to solve these problems. For example, we are in trouble because of global warming, but we could not solve this problem. I think the main reason is that the previous generations could not plan properly and could not organize international organizations to work on this problem. It is obvious that many species will become extinct in the future, and young people should think and work together like other people to find a better solution. This proves that young people should have the ability to plan.

In conclusion, I believe that young people should have the ability to plan and organize the complex modern life, which is changing very fast and is full of problems. I encourage all young people to focus on improving this ability to have a better life in their future.