This is my first essay, please correct it.
Thank you a lot.
Young people should try seveal different jobs before they take a career in a long term.
Nowadays has witness an unprecedented controversy as to whether young citizens should try several different jobs before they take a career for the longer term. Some people content that there is nothing they can get from many jobs. As far as I am concerned, nonetheless, trying different jobs is conducive to their future. The following reasoning will account for this.
The first reason that I am trying to convey is that taking different jobs provides young people an opportunity to find a lovely jobs. People can not make sense of something until they have practiced on it. More peculiar experience comes to your mind through this progress, and you would find whether it is interesting. When people satisfied with something(work, food or toy), they would pay more passion on it. And they would do their work more effective and efficient. It is really a main factor to success. Most famous artists, scientists and richest people began their careers with interests and devoted into their jobs in life-long time. How can we keep doing the same thing during a long time? What we need are love and passion.
Second, working other jobs offers young people social abilities. Even a graduated student is an expert in his professional field, he also lack of many indispensable social skills. How to get along with his colleagues? How to please his boss? And how to satisfy himself and his family? The young need to figure out such problem through their own experience. Acquiring these skills before they find a long time career will help them a lot.
In addition to the above reasons, trying different jobs allows young people observe things from different ways, forces them to use critical views and meet people with different backgrounds. All of these will play critical roles in their future life and in their way to success.
Talking all these causes into consideration, it is now to safe to come to the conclusion that youngsters should try different jobs for which can provide young people an opportunity to find a lovely jobs and allow them acquire social skills beyond their professional knowledge.
TOEFL listening lectures: Which designer did not work at the Bauhaus?
This is my first essay, please correct it.
Thank you a lot.
Young people should try seveal different jobs before they take a career in a long term.
Nowadays has witness an unprecedented controversy as to whether young citizens should try several different jobs before they take a career for the longer term. Some people CONTEND that there is nothing they can get from many jobs. As far as I am concerned, nonetheless, trying different jobs is conducive to their future. The following reasoning will account for this.
The first reason that I am trying to convey is that taking different jobs provides young people an opportunity to find aN lovely jobsIDEAL JOB. People (cannot) make sense of something until they have practiced on it. More peculiar experience comes to your mind through this progress, and you would find whether it is interesting. When people ARE satisfied with something(work, food or toy), they would pay more passion TO it. And they would do their work more effectiveLY and efficientLY. It is really a main factor to success. Most famous artists, scientists and THE richest people began their careers with interests and devoted THEMSELVES TO their jobs in life-long time. How can we keep doing the same thing during a LIFEtime? What we need are love and passion.
Second, working AT other jobs offers young people social abilities. Even THOUGH a graduated student is an expert in his professional field, he MAY also SHOW lack of many indispensable social skills. How to get along with his colleagues? How to please his boss? and how to satisfy himself and his family? The young need to figure out such problemS through their own experience. Acquiring these skills before they find a long time career will help them a lot.
In addition to the above reasons, trying different jobs allows young people TO observe things from different ways, forces them to use critical views and meet people FROM different backgrounds. All of these will play critical roles in their future life and in their way to success.
Talking all these causes into consideration, it is now to safe to come to the conclusion that youngsters should try different jobs for which can provide young people an opportunity to find a lovely THEIR IDEAL job and allow them TO acquire social skills beyond their professional knowledge.
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I feel you were a little over-confident when writing this essay, therefore you didn’t bother to critically review your finished work. Reviewing is vital to good work.
Kitos. 8/10
Thank you very much!
I am sorry I will pay more attention next time.
You really need to Ivy, because every error causes a loss of points in the real exam.
Kitos.