You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business

please, correct my essay :slight_smile:

You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business. Which would you choose to buy? Give specific reasons to explain your choice.

money takes very important part of our everyday life. It is easy to spend it but make money is too difficult, so when we have enough money to invest, we should be very careful. it is not so easy to say what’s better, purchase a house or business. before making decision, we should exactly estimate our possibility. purchase a house is easy and safe. there aren’t risks of lose money. you can give it for rent and get some extra money from it or have it during some years and then sell out. but if we purchase business, we will have much more income. as for me, i would be purchase house. first of all I have not enough experience to manage business, other reason is that safety with low income is more acceptable for me then defectiveness risk with high income, fortiori if it is under question does it works or not.
all in all, making right choice always is very important and responsible, before making decision we should think hard, pragmatically, ask advice to competent people and then act cleverly, because we have one life, one chance and if we make mistake, the second chance possibly won’t be.

TOEFL listening discussions: Why is the man taking this course?

Hi, your writing is not too bad, with just a few exceptions, I understood your writiing quite clearly. I don’t think you have a very good structure though. For this essay I would except an introduction stating your preference and two or three reasons. Then two or three body paragraphs expanding each reason, followed by a short conclusion. This article does a good job of explaining this format:
You have some problems with your verb tenses, your vocabulary is pretty basic, and you have some awkward sounding phrases. Overall, I would rate this essay a 2.5 out of 5.

Oh, I forgot the most important thing - capitalize the first word of each sentence. This is a very easy rule!

thank you a lot:)