Hi Mehmet! I’ve been busy these past few days, so I’m only now getting back to you on this.
because I believe that technological development helps to the healthcare system.
“To” is redundant. “Helps the healthcare system” would be correct.
technological improvent increasingly contributes to the health system
And now the opposite mistake – here, you’re missing “to the.”
tiny robots which operates to people’s back
It should be “tiny robots which operate on people’s backs.” I know @Oybeka98 already corrected that, but I’ll add that you need to stay consistent throughout the sentence. If you say “people,” that’s already plural, which means it should be “operate” as “operates” is only used for singular.
these illnesses are considered to be not important
The correct, better sounding choice here would be “unimportant.” But also, this is factually incorrect. Measles are definitely not considered unimportant. Sure, vaccinated people will most likely never contract them, but the spread of anti-vaxx ideologies has brought this risk back, and many non-vaccinated children (both those that can’t be vaccinated due to other problems, and those that parents didn’t vaccinate because they don’t believe in vaccines) have suffered the consequences. Some have even died.
But I think I understand what you wanted to say with your sentence – that these illnesses are now not as dangerous as they used to be, thanks to scientific innovations (be they vaccines or medicine or even new approaches). I’d rephrase it that way.
preventative measures are necessary for people’s life.
Again, you need to stay consistent throughout the sentence. As we said, “people” is always plural - the singular would be “person” - which means “life” should also be plural, making it “people’s lives.”
If the vaccine had been developed by scientist
Oybek also corrected the scientist part, but I’d add that it should be “if a vaccine…” Because there is no single vaccine you’re referring to, as it doesn’t exist. This means that any vaccine could be developed for this disease. When you’re referring to something that is not yet determined, you shouldn’t use “the.” Let me know if you need a better explanation here and we can come up with something.
Although, the vaccination does not applied people still live longer than past.
I’ll be honest, I have no idea what you wanted to say here. The whole sentence doesn’t make any sense. Maybe “Even without the vaccine, people still live longer than in the past”? I don’t know how to point out the mistake because it’s not a single mistake. Have you translated this using Google Translate? Sometimes phrases from our native language don’t mean anything in English when translated word for word.
that average standard of people’s health will get lower in the future than now
You’re referring to the future, so you need the appropriate tense, that’s why I added “will.”
Other than that, it’s mostly good. Oybek also makes a great point with the “thanks to” phrase and its alternatives. I notice you’re getting better, but there are still some basic issues that need to be addressed one by one. You may want to revisit some older lessons. We can correct your mistakes one by one, but we can’t address the reason behind those mistakes as there’s just not enough space for that.
However, if you decide to study from the ground up, we can help you with more specific things, like phrases, tenses, etc. Good luck!