Writing Task 2 - Education - Higher Education - Both Views

Dear Teachers,

Firstly, thank you so much for take time to review this topic. So if it is possible, please help me review and correct my essay below.

Best Regards,

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years, many people believe that studying at higher education would be a better approach to get better job opportunities. However, a number of opponents express that getting a job as soon as students finish school would be outweighed. This essay will discusses both sides and draw out my perspective.

It is apparent fact that people with qualifications not only likely to get well-paid job, but they also become more competitive to open the door in the labor market. Furthermore, skilled workers really need for sectors, such as economy, engineering, information technology and so on. For example, nowadays, manual jobs have been gradually replaced by robots controlled by engineers, whereas we always need specialists who specialize in their field to design, create and develop machine systems.

On the other hand, firstly, learning at university or college would spend them too much money and time, while they have to do extra time to struggle with live expense being more and more expensive. And as a result, this problem led to their downswing in studying. Secondly, degree would be not really necessary in some industries or service professions which needs manual workers. For instance, in developed countries, they always need wide ranges of labors for home services, such as plumber, cleaning carpets, and the price of these service is being increased day by day.

In conclusion, all above opinions are make sense. Therefore, it is really hard for me to draw a definite conclusion. For my opinion, the demerits of learning at higher education are overshadowed by the merits, so we should go to either university or college to get better life.


Hi Timmy, many thanks for joining our forum. Please tell us what kind of feedback you expect? From what I see you need to start writing short and simple sentences in natural English. Currently, you apparently think your native language and then translate your thoughts into English. That’s why I suggest you read this: English for Winners

Please let me know what you think.
Also, let’s see what @tim_m and @Andrea have to say.

Best regards,


Hi Torsten,

Thank you very much for your feedback and comments, which help me so much. I have a plan learning abroad, and I try to get IELTS band 6 by self-study. Actually, this is the first essay I do for writing task 2.

I will take notes your comments and try to improve in next essay.



Hi Timmy, I would have to agree with Torsten’s comments here. Ideally, you want to be understood by your readers without them having to work too hard to figure out what you mean in your writing. A good place to start would be to try and simplify your sentences as well as the words you choose. Often times, a sentence that tries to use too many high level vocabulary words creates the opposite effect of what we want and may cause the readers to lose interest in what we have written. Another suggestion that I have for this particular essay is for you to discuss your opinion in more detail. From what I can see, your second and third paragraphs discuss the two sides of the argument, but then your last paragraph doesn’t really discuss your opinion at all. I think it would be wise to develop this part of the essay much more than what you have written so far. I hope this helps. :grinning:

Good luck!


Thank you so much, i hope that i still receive your comments on next essay. I will try to improve.