Writing task 2 - cam 18 - test 3 - (Dear teacher, please help me correct my essay!)

In numerous countries in the world, many people living in small provinces choose to build their career in big cities, hence the population density in rural areas is very low. This essay argues that it is a negative development because the unequal allocation of human resources between regions causes the traffic congestion in urban areas and the shortage of high-quality labour forces for developing in promoted areas.
Traffic jam can be considered as the most difficult problems of the big cities, caused by the influx of immigrants from another places. It is undeniable that many young people can have more job opportunities with higher income, excellent promotion prospects, and do business well in these cities. Therefore, the number of city dwellers has been increasingly significantly, causing the number of vehicles on the streets to skyrocket during rush hour when they go to work or study in the morning and return home in the evening. It can be seen that fumes pollution and crowded traffic seem to be specialties of economic centres like Ho Chi Minh city in Vietnam. Residences here have to endure waiting on the streets to move little by little under the scorching heat, leaving many people more exhausted after a day of work.
Many small provinces find it difficult to develop local economy due to the situation of young people leaving homeland. Several families in the town only have elderly people living because their offspring work far away to earn money to send back home every month, or their grandchildren are studying at university in big cities. These young people, after graduation, refuse to return to their homeland to work and build their career. For example, Quang Ninh province is a Northwest region of Vietnam with low per capita income. To boost the economy of this province, government has implemented the project to build a free trade zone here to attract more foreign companies with many preferential policies since 2020. Until now, many corporations claim that they have not recruited enough qualified workers from locals due to the serious shortage on-site labour force. Accordingly, some industrial areas are not yet in operation and still empty.
In conclusion, the movement of local people leads to uneven population distribution which creates a paradox. While the big cities must endeavour to control emissions and reduce traffic problems, consequences of urbanization, the other provinces are lack of young human resources to develop economy and improve quality of life here.