Writing task 2: advantages and disadvantages (Dear Teacher, please help me correct my essay!)

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People say that accepting risks and challenges in careers as well as in daily life is vital. Although failure is a fear that everyone always wants to avoid, I believe risk acceptance brings more benefits than its drawbacks. This essay will show that a person can find opportunity in threat will become a successful businessman, and gain amazing experiences that not everyone has.
The main driver of risk-taking is that successful entrepreneurs are able to create more jobs for society and earn more money than employees. Starting up a business is an extremely complicated job that requires businessmen to dedicate their time, youth, and all financial resources to that business and if successful, they will receive worthy rewards. For example, Steve Jobs, the father of famous and luxury technology brands, earned millions of dollars after launching Apple products into the marketplace and outsourcing mass production in many Asian countries. Apart from that, in our life, joining risky adventures will bring special feelings and sometimes great feats when people can conquer nature. In other words, many young people seek out feelings of excitement and delight in the journey of exploring dense jungles, high mountains, or deep caves. For instance, two Sweden brothers conquered the highest mountain Everest and were recorded in the Guinness Book, they shared their feelings in a television interview that this is a great achievement, and that it will be the most memorial and wonderful moment in their lives.
Those opposed to these say that the fear of failure is a big obstacle that prevents people from challenging themselves. That is to say that self-employed people usually have unstable cash flows, or adventurous activities would threaten people’s lives. However, I believe that every success, innovation, and development comes from failures. Taking the story of a color Queen of the US in 1991, Miss Selena, as an inspiration for many people. She served in the US Army and won the Miss Universe crown in a beauty competition after failing six times.
On balance, the fact that many people accept risks in their profession as well as their life obtained great achievements and had memorable experiences, which inspire young generations to be brave to create new things. Therefore, I strongly suppose that the benefits of taking risks outweigh its disadvantages.

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It is said that accepting risks and challenges is essential in one’s career as well as in one’s daily life. Although failure is a fear that everyone wants to avoid, I believe that accepting risk brings more benefits than its drawbacks. This essay will show that a person can find opportunity in threat, become a successful businessman, and gain amazing experiences that not everyone has.
The main driver of risk-taking is that successful entrepreneurs are able to create more jobs for society and earn more money than employees. Starting a business is an extremely complicated task that requires entrepreneurs to dedicate their time, youth, and all financial resources to this business, and if successful, they will receive worthy rewards. For example, Steve Jobs, the father of famous and luxury technology brands, earned millions of dollars after launching Apple products and outsourcing mass production to many Asian countries. Besides, in our lives, participating in risky adventures will bring special feelings and sometimes great achievements when people can conquer nature. In other words, many young people seek feelings of excitement and joy in the journey of exploring dense jungles, high mountains or deep caves. For example, when two Swedish brothers conquered Mount Everest and were recorded in the Guinness Book of Records, they shared their feelings in a television interview that this was a great achievement and that it would be the most memorable and wonderful moment in their lives.
Opponents say that the fear of failure is a big obstacle that prevents people from challenging themselves. They say that self-employed people usually have unstable cash flow, or that adventurous activities would threaten people’s lives. However, I believe that every success, innovation and development comes from failure.

The story of a colored queen of the USA in 1991, Miss Selena, is an inspiration for many people. She served in the U.S. Army and won the Miss Universe crown in a beauty pageant after failing six times.
All in all, the fact that many people have taken risks in their professions and lives has led to great achievements and memorable experiences that inspire younger generations to be bold and create new things. Therefore, I strongly believe that the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages.