Writing task 1: map - cam 17 - please help me correct my essay!

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The maps illustrate an area of the Norbiton town which is currently used for industry, and expected development for this land in the future.
Overall, there will be a strong urbanization in this area with many residential areas and accompanied facilities, replacing for the cluster of factories.
The manufacturing complex on the east of a roundabout connecting a main road to this industrial park is expected to demolish to make way for housing. Moreover, the dwelling for residence will be extended to the north and the west of the circle in the centre. From this circle, some infrastructure will also be built to link these habitations, including a side road leading to the western housing and a bridge crossing over a river to create a joint with the northern household area.
Besides, to make life easier, many essential services serving for dwellers here will be established. School and playground for children will be located on the west of the town, facing the river where the population is most concentrated. Shopping and healthcare centre are planned to arrange on two side of a road connecting between the existing circle and a small circle which will be constructed at the junction of the main road.

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The maps illustrate an area of the town of Norbiton that is currently used for industry, and the expected future development for this land.
Overall, there will be strong urbanisation in this area with many residential areas and associated facilities replacing the cluster of factories.
The manufacturing complex to the east of a roundabout connecting a main road to this industrial estate is expected to be demolished to make way for housing. In addition, the residential area will be extended to the north and west of the central circle. From this circle, some infrastructure will also be built to connect these estates, including a side road leading to the western estate and a bridge over a river to connect with the northern estate.
In addition, many essential services will be provided for the residents to make their lives easier. A school and children’s playground will be located in the west of the city, facing the river, where the population is most concentrated. Shopping and health centres will be located on either side of a road connecting the existing roundabout and a small roundabout to be built at the junction of the main road.