Writing ielts task 2

[hongliennguyenkt]

i am new here. please check this essay for me.
Cycling is more environmentally friendly than other forms of transport. Why is it not popular in many places? And how to increase its popularity .

Although riding cycles is much more beneficial to reducing environmental pollution, a lot of people still choose the other types of vehicles to commute. There are a number of reasons for this unpopularity, and some solutions should be proposed to promote the usage of bicycles.

There are some reasons why cycling is unpopular in many parts of the world. Firstly, riding a bicycle takes more time than using other means of transport. Nowadays people tend to be short of time so they would like to choose the forms of transport such as motorbikes, cars that could help them save time on commuting. Secondly, cycling is much physically demanding to make a long ride. People have to spend more energy traveling on the road especially on a hot and rainy day when they have to travel to distant areas.

Several solutions should be used to increase the using of bicycles. The first solution is that governments should impose heavy taxes on other types of vehicles. This makes the vehicles such as cars, motorbikes more expensive. As a result, people tend to choose bicycles as a main form of transport. The final key to solving this problem would be to invest more fund to enhance the roads which are provided for only cyclists. Improving the infrastructure would help cyclists travel more convenience and reduce significantly the time traveling by bicycles.

In conclusion, there are some reasons why riding bicycles are much uncommon in today’s world, and solutions should be produced early to promote this environmentally friendly means of transport.

[Luschen]

Sorry. I am celebrating Thanksgiving today. I should be able to get to your essay tomorrow.

[Luschen]

Hi Hong Lenn, welcome to the forum. You did a good job of addressing the prompt correctly.
Your essay was well organized and easily understandable. That said, your writing is a little too simple. Your vocabulary is quite basic and there is a lot of repetition in your words and phrases. Please see my suggestions below:

@hongliennguyenkt

Although riding cycles {“bicycles” is probably better to avoid confusion with “motorcycles”, often called “cycles”} is much more beneficial [in] reducing environmental pollution, a lot of {try to use a better word than “a lot of” - here maybe “multitudes of people”} people still choose the other types of vehicles to commute. There are a number of reasons for this unpopularity, and some {“specific” sounds better than “some” here} solutions should be [“solutions have been proposed” is better here} proposed to promote the usage of bicycles.

There are [clear] {“some” is repetitive here and not the best word anyway} reasons why cycling is unpopular in many parts of the world. Firstly, riding a bicycle takes more time than using other means of transport. Nowadays people tend to be short of time so they [tend] to choose the forms of transport such as motorbikes [or] {make sure not to replace and or or with a comma - this is common in Vietnamese English, but is not standard} cars that could help them save time on commuting. Secondly, cycling is much [more] physically demanding [when making] a long ride. People have to spend more energy traveling on the road[,] especially on a hot and {maybe “or” is better - rainy days don’t tend to be the hottest - maybe in Vietnam though?} rainy day when they have to travel to distant areas.

Several solutions 'have been brought forward" to increase the [usage] of bicycles. The first solution is that governments should impose heavy taxes on other types of vehicles. This makes the vehicles such as cars [and] motorbikes more expensive. As a result, people [will] tend to choose bicycles as [their] main form of transport. The final key to solving this problem would be to invest more [funds] to enhance the roads [that] are provided for only cyclists.{ “for the use of cyclists only” is more clear} Improving the infrastructure would help cyclists travel more [conveniently] and reduce significantly the time [required to travel] by [bicycle].

In conclusion, there are [compelling] reasons why riding bicycles [is very] uncommon in today’s world, and solutions should be produced [as soon as possible] early to promote this environmentally friendly means of transport. {Your conclusion is a little short. A three sentence paragraph is best. You can restate your thesis, summarize your reasons, and give a call to action - that would give you a solid three sentences}