Hello, I have just started learning writing. Can you help me to evalute this paragraph, in terms of lexico resources, grammatical range, coherence and cohesion and task response? Thank you so much in advance.
There are a lot of benefits coming from doing volunteer work. To begin with, by volunteering, one can help to improve the lives of disadvantaged people around them and help them to integrate into the community. For example, by donating books and clothes to children living in underpriviledged conditions in mountainous areas, a person can help such kids to be warmer during cold winters and have a better education. More importantly, volunteering can also be beneficial to volunteers themselves. By illustration, when joining in voluntary groups or charity organizations, a person may feel a stronger sense of purpose in life , make new friends of the same interests and gain invaluable skills such as interpersonal communication , leadership and problem-solving. In addition, to young people, volunteering can even enhance their employability . This is chiefly because employers usually prefer employees who are energetic , confident , and willing to lend a hand to others, and most of these traits are clearly shown in a volunteer. To conclude, it is highly advisable that every individual should take part in some volunteer work, to better not only their lives, but also those of the needy and the whole society.
Volunteering has many advantages. First of all, by volunteering, you can help improve the lives of disadvantaged people in your area and help them integrate into the community. For example, by donating books and clothing to children living in underprivileged conditions in mountainous areas, you can help these children stay warm during cold winters and receive a better education. More importantly, volunteering can also benefit the volunteers themselves. For example, by joining a volunteer group or charity, one can gain a stronger sense of purpose in life, make new friends with the same interests, and gain invaluable skills such as interpersonal communication, leadership, and problem solving. In addition, for young people, volunteering can even improve their employability. This is mainly because employers usually prefer employees who are energetic, confident, and willing to help others, and most of these traits are evident in a volunteer. In conclusion, it is highly advisable for everyone to volunteer in order to improve not only their lives, but also the lives of those in need and society as a whole.