Writing assessment IELTS task 2 essay

Dear teachers,
Please give me some evaluation of my essay. Any help will be appreciated. Many thanks.
Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives.

Nowadays, advertising plays a crucial role in business strategies of many enterprises. Some people contend that unnecessary consumption of goods by public has been increasing while others opine that advertising helps consumers approach new products improving their living standards. In my opinion, both viewpoints have benefits and drawbacks, but in this case, the positive aspects outweigh the detrimential one.

Many people believe that advertising supports to popularize new goods that boost people’s living standards. In fact, there is a lot of new products’ information given by companies through advertisements, which helps prospective customers be informed and understand the products. For instance, when someone has a demand for buying a novel cellphone, they can compare easily not only mobile phone’s functions but also their price before making a final decision thanks to ads. As a result, compared to without ads, there is a higher probability that this person chooses the best suitable products with them. Ultimately, the customer can maximize their utilities.

Others support the opinion that advertising encourages people to make a purchase regardless of their true needs. To achieve maximum revenue purposes, a range of companies often exaggerate their products’ usefulness when advertising. Consequently, customers will overestimate the products leading to making false decisions. For example, in magnetic therapy, products’ efficiencies are exaggerated many times than there truly are. Some advertisements have contents that magnetic products can treat a range of diseases such as high blood pressure, diabetes, digestive disorder, and so on. Nevertheless, there are varieties of research showing results that this kind of goods just have mental effects in lieu of multidimensional effects as in ads.

In conclusion, despite contributing over-consume of customers, advertising contains a variety of new products’ information. I have been supporting the benefits of advertising rather than its negative effects.

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Hi Nhu Mao, welcome to our forum and many thanks for posting your essay. What kind of assessment are you looking for and why? Best regards, Torsten

PS: It’s always good to say at least ‘hello’ when you join a new community. I’m sure that’s the case in Vietnam too, isn’t it?

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Hi Torsten,
Thank for your respondent. This is an IELTS task 2 essay (giving opinion essay). Yeah you may be right about the case in Viet Nam but as in my knowledge “Dear” is one kind of way to say hello. If what I know is not correct, I really sorry about that.

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Hi again Nhu, you are welcome. Please note that your sentence should read ‘Thank you for your response’.

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