Hello teachers,
Please help me correct my essay and give suggestions. Thank you!
Why should people go short distance by bike?
Going short distance by bike has been an appealing topic. Many people are trying to find out various reasons. My writing aims at the main ones.
In the first place, what I put in my priority is health development. It cannot be denied that going by bike is the same as doing exercises. Our bodies must move and fat will be burned. Of course, our blood will go through our bodies easily than usual. More interestingly, going by bike is a good way to relax. When we ride a bike, we don’t have to work or study. As soon as we go short distance by bike, our brains will take some rests. We are surely able to avoid stress. Without any doubt, going short distance by bike improve our health.
In the second place, financial safety holds no less importance. The fact is that going by bike doesn’t need to buy oil. Nowadays, oil costs more highly than it used to. We will save much of money when we go by bike. More importantly, bike is a simple means of transport. If there is something wrong with your bike, you can fix it on your own. We don’t have to spend much money on preparing our bicycles. With no doubt, going by bike helps us save money.
Last but not least, environment protection draws much of my attention. It is obviously, going by bike doesn’t cause air pollution. As it has no smoke, bike is a means of transport which is friendly with the environment. More remarkably, going by bike means no need fuel. We don’t have to buy oil or gas. Going short distance by bike is one way to save natural resources. Beyond any doubt, we can protect the environment if we ride a bike.
In short, by improving our health, helping us with our financial and keeping the environment clean, people should usually ride a bike. I highly recommend that both adults and children should carefully consider my writing to make a wise decision on going short distance by bike.
TOEFL listening lectures: Which is a characteristic of realistic landscape paintings?
Hello teachers,
Please correct my essay. Thank you!
Hello,
It has been for a while since I posted my essay, but no one corrects it. I am sad. Is there any teacher in this forum, please correct my essay. Thank you!
Hey girl,
IMO, there are some point you need to concentrate to improve:
- Your idea is good but you developed not well because of simple sentence. I find you used a lots of simple sentence and compound ones, a little complex ones. We know that EST points much of divert sentence structure
- In the second paragraph, you may compare the repairing your self bike with other transportations like automobile or motorbike for the details.
- You take advantage too much of “no + noun”. It’s not wrong but I think it decrease your interesting essay.
Hope this helps 
Going short distance by bike has been an appealing topic. Many people are trying to find out various reasons. My writing aims at the main ones.
In the first place, what I put in my MOST prior BENIFIT OF RIDING A BIKE is health development. It cannot be denied that going by bike is the same as doing exercises. Our bodies must move and SHED fat will be burned. Of course, our blood will go through our bodies easily than usual. More interestingly, going by bike is a good way to relax. When we ride a bike, we don’t have to work or study. As soon as we go short distance by bike, our brains will take some rests. We are surely able to avoid stress. Without any doubt, going short distance by bike improveS our health.
In the second place, financial safety holds no less importance. The fact is that going by bike doesn’t need to buy oil. Nowadays, oil costs more highly than it used to. We will save much of money when we go by bike. More importantly, bike is a simple means of transport. If there is something wrong with your bike, you can fix it on your own. We don’t have to spend much money on prepaIring our bicycles. With no doubt, going by bike helps us save money.
Last but not least, environment protection draws much of my attention. It is obviously, going by bike doesn’t cause air pollution. As it has no smoke, bike is a means of transport which is friendly with the environment. More remarkably, going by bike means no need fuel. We don’t have to buy oil or gas. Going short distance by bike is one way to save natural resources. Beyond any doubt, we can protect the environment if we ride a bike.
In short, by improving our health, helping us with our financES and keeping the environment clean, people should usually ride a bike. I highly recommend that both adults and children should carefully consider my writing to make a wise decision on going short distance by bike.
Nice Essay. Read often, work on your sentence structure. Goodluck 7.5/10
Thank you for your correction! It’s very helpful. I’ve learnt a lot!
W.F.G
