could any one please rate this eassy to me it is for my toefl text and I do not have any one to help me.
Most of the individual are being attracted to do risky thing as a hobby. In my opinion, the nature of the human being forces them to live new life and find adventures. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, there is a specific range of the amount of some hormones in our body, which are control our acts. Distinctly it is shaping our attitudes and desires in order to try new and attractive things, so that is what we find in dangerous sports or activities. For instance, last year, new circus was open in our city and they announced in their posters that there is new person has been joined to them, who will do a show using a real fire. Eventually when people saw this poster, all the tickets were run off. For this reason, I asked my self why people love to see this kind of activities. As a matter of fact, our body and brain would relax, and head loaded when we feel the action. My personal experience demonstrates that attracting to the risky sports and other kind of action is a physiological effort from our body.
Second, doing extraordinary things make people feel better and rest from the heavy load of our life. For examples doing surfing, despite the truth that may be there will be sharks or the surfer will be lost in the sea, you will see them doing this sport no matter what happened because they enjoy this feeling. My example is a compelling illustration of this, my favorite hoppy is camping in the forests, even though, all the hazards that I will face during the camping I cannot leave my passion. When I go with my colleagues, I clear my head and cope with the situation that I am in. However, I learn so much from this hobby and that is what make my personality better than ever.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that watching or doing this kind of sports made our life better than before, this is because our physiological components, and our deep desires which push us to do adventures.
Hi and welcome to our forum. I think you need to work on your grammar since you make a lot of rather basic mistakes. Please compare your version against the amended version below and count the changes I have made:
Most people are attracted to doing risky things as a hobby. In my opinion, human nature compels them to live a new life and find adventure. I feel this for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First, there is a certain range of amount of some hormones in our body that control our actions. Clearly, it shapes our attitudes and desires to try new and attractive things, that is, what we find in dangerous sports or activities. For example, last year a new circus opened in our city and they announced on their posters that a new person had joined them who would do a show with real fire. When people saw this poster, at some point all the tickets were gone. For this reason, I wondered why people liked this kind of activity so much. In fact, our body and brain would relax and the head is charged when we feel the action. My personal experience shows that the attraction to risky sports and other kinds of action is a physiological effort of our body.
Secondly, when we do extraordinary things, we feel better and recover from the heavy load of our life. For example, in surfing, despite the fact that there may be sharks or the surfer may get lost in the ocean, you will see that they do this sport no matter what because they enjoy this feeling. My example is a convincing illustration of this, my favorite hoppy is camping in the woods, despite all the dangers I face while camping, I canât let go of my passion. When I go along with my colleagues, I get to clear my head and cope with the situation I find myself in. Anyway, I learn so much from this hobby and that is what makes my personality better than ever.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that watching or practicing this kind of sport makes our life better than before because our physiological components and deep desires drive us to adventure.
I am with you, and I think it did not show the rearl level of the steudent, but unfortunately I need it to enter the university, with out it I will not be able to enter.
I get your point but why do you think you need to âenter the universityâ? Why not study only and obtain micro credentials? Why waste time and resources on a completely outdated system when you achieve the same results with a new and modern approach?
I donât agree with you, earning a high professional degree from the university it is not wasting of time or resources, it could give you the experiences that you need to start a work and give you great position in the society especially when you study medicine or pharmacy or sciences you canât gain this experience from self learning.
You need to follow a system and standard.
Well, thatâs a rather outdated and hierarchical way of thinking prevalent in patriarchal societies. The idea that you need to earn respect by going through the motions and gaining a âgreat position in societyâ. This system has produced inequality, discrimination and exploitation. Fortunately, there is a better alternative.