Which one do you prefer:staying in one place or moving in search of another place

[Fshad46]

I am very glad that I found this site to improve my writing. I would be thankful if you correct my essay and rate it and tell me what to do to enhance it.

Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for a better job, house, community, or even climate. Which one do you prefer: staying in one place or moving in search of another place?

Most people don’t like moving. They select one specific place and spend their entire life there. While there are some group of people who like to travel and experience living in different places. The question is which one I prefer: staying in one place or living in different places. In my experience, I prefer to move to different places and live there throughout my life. I don’t want to spend my whole life in one city because it will be boring for me. In addition, living in different cities I can learn many valuable things about tradition and cultures of people who live there. Moreover, sometimes I have to move and change my city.

First, I like to become familiar with cultures and be aware of various traditions that exist in different cities of my country. One way to reach this goal is to live in these cities for some years. By doing so, I can directly observe traditions that exist in these cities. In addition, living in various cities provides an opportunity for me to experience different living conditions.

Second, living in one place may be boring for me. When you spend your entire life in one city, especially the city where you was born, you know every people who live there. You know every place of that city. So, there is nothing special and exciting for you in that city. However, when you change your city and move to another one your life would be less boring and more exciting. I really enjoy meeting new people and visiting different places.

Finally, sometimes I have to move to other cities. I work as a reporter for a TV channel. Each four or five years they send me to a different city. I like his job because I like to experience life in different cities and this job provides me this condition. Most importantly, I pay no money for carrying my furniture from one city to another.

As the aforementioned examples shows, I believe that it is preferable not to stay in one city. You can move to different cities and spend your life there. I recommend you not to spend your life in one city for more than ten years. If you want to change your life and make it more exciting, move to another city.

TOEFL listening discussions: What is Dr Schmidt researching?

[Luschen]

Hi Fshad, welcome to the forum. I enjoyed your essay and I think your writing is pretty good. You have an effective essay structure and your writing is clear and understandable. You have some good personal and detailed examples that support your argument well. You do have a few minor grammatical errors here and there though and both your sentence structures and vocabulary are generally pretty basic. Overall, I would rate this a 4 out of 5.

@Fshad46

I am very glad that I found this site to improve my writing. I would be thankful if you correct my essay and rate it and tell me what to do to enhance it.

Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for a better job, house, community, or even climate. Which one do you prefer: staying in one place or moving in search of another place?

Most people don’t like moving. They select one specific place and spend their entire life there. While there are some group[s ] of people who like to travel and experience living in different places.{this is not a complete sentence - maybe “In contrast, there are” or “On the other hand, there are”} The question is which one I prefer: staying in one place or living in different places. In my experience, I prefer to move to different places and live there throughout my life. {these two phrases seem to contradict each other - move or “live there”} I don’t want to spend my whole life in one city because it will be boring for me. In addition, living in different cities I can learn many valuable things about tradition and cultures of people who live there. Moreover, sometimes I have to move and change my city. {this is ok, but I prefer using a shorter summary of your reasons and combining them in your thesis statement}

First, I {I would add “would” here} like to become familiar with cultures and be aware of various traditions that exist in different cities of my country. One way to reach this goal is to live in these cities for some years. By doing so, I can directly observe traditions that exist in these cities. In addition, living in various cities provides an opportunity for me to experience different living conditions. {“living conditions” is not really the best here - it is usually used to describe either good, or bad living conditions}

Second, living in one place may be boring for me. When you spend your entire life in one city, especially the city where you w[ere] born, you know every people[person] who live[s ] there. You know every place of[in] that city. So, there is nothing special and exciting for you in that city. However, when you change your city and move to another one[,] your life would be less boring and more exciting. I really enjoy meeting new people and visiting different places.

Finally, sometimes I have to move to other cities. I work as a reporter for a TV channel. Each four or five years they send me to a different city. I like his job because I like to experience life in different cities and this job provides me this condition.{“condition” is a little odd here - maybe “opportunity”} Most importantly, I pay no money for carrying{“moving” is more natural} my furniture from one city to another.

As the aforementioned examples shows[show], I believe that it is preferable not to stay in [only] one city. You can move to different cities and spend your life there.{once again, “spend your life there” implies staying in one place} I recommend you not to spend your life in one city for more than ten years. If you want to change your life and make it more exciting, move to another city.

TOEFL listening discussions: What is Dr Schmidt researching?