Which kind of communication do you prefer, and why?

English as a Second Language Preparation for and help with the TOEFL® Test and
1

Hello Kitosdad,

I was wondering if you would emend my essay.I wrote this essay in 30 minutes.

Thanks in advance,
Mohammad

Topic : Some people like to communicate by email and voice mail. Other people like to communicate by telephone or face to face.Which kind of communication do you prefer, and why?

I think both means for communication have their own advantages and disadvantages.

On one hand, through mail and voice-mail we can communicate with many people. These kind of means are very widespread and we can acquire people’s mail to communicate them very easily. In addition, through these facilities we can exchange our ideas and information with many people who are too far from us with a lower cost. Moreover, these tools for communication are bread of offline communication. Accordingly, we cannot disturb people while they are busy doing their affairs. For example, I do not like to answer any call when I am studying. I check my emails everyday and I devote a limited span of time to investigate them. In this way, I am more organized and I save my time.

On the other hand, sometimes we need to convey our ideas through talking to each other in a face to face way. For example, when we want to discuss a really important research problem, it is very crucial to speak in an online way, either in a face to face way or through telephone. In addition , it is needless to say that the cost of face to face communication is very low if we factor the expense that we should make to meet one another. Furthermore, through virtual settings, it is very difficult to convey our real meaning because we cannot see each other. There are lots of meanings in the way that we look at someone. In addition, sometimes we can just convey our meaning through gestures.

In regard to my personal preference, I use all the mentioned communication means because each one has its own application. For example, I like to have a face to face communication with my supervisor. Also, I prefer to be in touch with all of my old friends through mail very often. Furthermore I use telephone to speak with my girlfriend [IF THERE WERE ANY] because I need to hear her voice and talk to her continuously.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from a science class

2

On one hand, through mail and voice-mail we can communicate with many people. These kind of COMMUNICATION are very widespread and we can acquire people’s mail to communicate WITH them very easily. In addition, through these facilities we can exchange our ideas and information with many people who are too far from us, with a lower cost. Moreover, these tools for communication are the bread of offline communication. Accordingly, we cannot disturb people while they are busy doing their affairs. For example, I do not like to answer any call when I am studying. I check my emails everyday and I devote a limited span of time to investigate them. In this way, I am more organized and I save my time.

On the other hand, sometimes we need to convey our ideas through talking to each other in a face to face way. For example, when we want to discuss a really important research problem, it is very crucial to speak in an online way, either in a face to face way or through telephone. In addition , it is needless to say that the cost of face to face communication is very low if we factor the expense that we should make to meet one another. Furthermore, through virtual settings, it is very difficult to convey our real meaning because we cannot see each other. There are lots of meanings in the way that we look at someone. In addition, sometimes we can just convey our meaning through gestures.

In regard to my personal preference, I use all the mentioned communication means because each one has its own application. For example, I like to have a face to face communication with my supervisor. Also, I prefer to be in touch with all of my old friends through mail very often. Furthermore I use telephone to speak with my girlfriend [IF THERE WERE ANY] because I need to hear her voice and talk to her continuously.
…
Not bad Mohammad.

Kitos. 8/10

3

Thanks a million Kitosdad,

I noticed that I do not have a lot of mistakes in this essay.However, you gave me 8. What was wrong with my essay apart from grammatical mistakes?

Thanks,
Mohammad

4

Good morning Mohammad, you received eight because you are getting better.The better you become, the more critical I become… Now, how about trying for a nine?