What ways can history be brought to life for all school children?

[Trangpg]

This is my IELTS essay. I spend more than 1.5 hour to complete it. Help me check it, thank you Luschen.

Topic: Some children find learning history at school very exciting, but many others think it is very boring. In what ways can history be brought to life for all school children?

   History is of paramount importance in our life. In fact, some students learn history with their passion while others regard history as a compulsory subject. There are a plethora methods developed to avoid this educational bias. In this essay, I will point out some simple yet comprehensive ways to encourage students to learn history.  

In my opinion, we should change our obsolete delivery methods. Firstly, modern technology is an efficient tool in teaching and learning. For example, by using the Internet and computers, students easily search the needed information. These skills can be applied in other subjects such as chemistry, biology, and geography; hence students’ performances in numerous fields of learning are refocused and improved. Besides, by showing videos, images and slideshows, teachers can instill their knowledge naturally prompting students to evoke during “colourful” lesson. Other method that should be taken into consideration is creating field trips to historical sites. In fact, the historical places are much more real than anything in the books, which motivates students to engage in class. In addition, this activity requires students to utilize technique of the investigator, archaeologist and even journalist in order to do the research themselves.

Changing the structure and organization of learning content is likely to be a tremendous advantage in teaching history. Instead of heavily scrutinizing for learning content as well as spending a large amount of money to print textbooks, we can let students choose their own fascinating topics or historical facts to learn and then give a speech in front of class. Giving them a freedom to do what they want enables two-way communication between teacher and students, resulting in learning motivation. 

In conclusion, history plays a quintessential part of our life. I think changing the learning content as well as techniques of delivering is the single most effective way to bring history to children’s life.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from an Art History class

[Trangpg]

Hi Luschen, could you please help me? Thank you.

[Luschen]

Hi Trang, I thought this essay was very good. I really liked your content, you have some very good ideas and have expressed them well and in an organized manner. You do have a few grammar and usage errors, but I still think this would rate a 7 - now you just have to increase your writing speed!

@Trangpg

This is my IELTS essay. I spend more than 1.5 hour to complete it. Help me check it, thank you Luschen.

Topic: Some children find learning history at school very exciting, but many others think it is very boring. In what ways can history be brought to life for all school children?

   History is of paramount importance in our li[ves]. In fact, some students learn history with their passion while others regard history as [merely] {one can still be passionate about a compulsory subject} a compulsory subject. There are a plethora [of] methods [that have been] developed { or "a plethora of methods have been developed"} to avoid this educational bias.{an education bias would seem to treat students differently, to be biased to certain students}  In this essay, I will point out some simple yet comprehensive ways to encourage students to learn history.  

 In my opinion, we should change our obsolete delivery methods. Firstly, modern technology is an efficient tool in teaching and learning. For example, by using the Internet and computers, students [can] easily search the needed information. These skills can be applied in{"to" is better} other subjects such as chemistry, biology, and geography; hence students’ performances{"performance" here is non-countable singular} in numerous fields of learning are refocused and improved. Besides, by showing videos, images and slideshows, teachers can instill their knowledge[,] naturally prompting students to evoke {evoke needs an object} during [these] “colourful” lesson[s ]. [An]Other method that should be taken into consideration is creating field trips to historical sites. In fact, the historical places are much more real than anything in the books, which motivates students to engage in class. In addition, this activity requires students to utilize technique of the investigator, archaeologist and even journalist in order to do the research themselves.

Changing the structure and organization of learning content is likely to be a tremendous advantage in teaching history. Instead of heavily scrutinizing {"scrutinizing" needs an object} for learning content as well as spending a large amount of money to print textbooks, we can let students choose their own fascinating topics or historical facts to learn and then give a speech in front of class. Giving them[s] a [/s]freedom to do what they want enables two-way communication between teacher and students, resulting in learning motivation. {"motivated learning" is more clear - unless you are talking about learning how to be motivated} 

In conclusion, history plays a quintessential part [in][s]of [/s]our li[ves]. I think changing the learning content as well as techniques of deliver[y ] is the single most effective way {this seems a little like two ways} to bring history to children’s li[ves].

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from an Art History class