What do you think about your father, Please help me to corret and rate it.

Topic: What do you think about your father? Use specific examples to support your position.
Anyone in this world has a wonderful father who spends his whole life for us. I don’t know what you think about your father. For me, I cannot live and grow up without him. He always stands by me, gives me useful advices when I get into the troubles, and he also tells me what I need to do for my future.
First of all, A father who is always close to us and give us happiness and the love of a father for a child. Whenever, I have any troubles, he usually help me to deal with them, though they are big or small things. I remember ten years ago, when I was a high school student. At that time I was so naughty and hard-headed, my mother often shouted me. I was really feed up with all things. I thought my mom did not love me. She only liked to scream me. Fortunately, with the explanation and his love for me, he helped me to understand that I myself got into troubles and I also made my mom sad. I realized that I was my fault. I apologized to my mother.
In addition, my father gave me orientation of my future career, when I prepared for the high school final exam. I faced with a big challenge I had to choose a university to enroll. I did not know which one was suitable for me. But my father said that I should take Pedagogy College. He said he used to want to become a teacher. However, due to his family’s poverty so he had to stop his dream. So he want me follow his dream. Moreover, he thought that I was a girl. It would be easy for me to have more time for my family when I purse this job. I obeyed his advice, and for now, I know it is a right and perfect choice he gave me. Thanks to him I have a good job and a happy family with lovely son and a wonderful husband.
As a Vietnamese saying, “go everywhere in the world, there is no one who is as hard as mom, and the life burden there is nobody who is as hard as dad”. I and you have on this earth is based on our father and mother. I love both mom and dad. And in my mind my father likes a hero who gives me strength and encouragement to overcome all difficulties I have faced in this life.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of History (2)

Hi, I really enjoyed reading your essay. It sounds like you have two wonderful parents. Your writing is generally clear, though you have a few confusing sentences. Also, you have a lot of short, choppy sentences which would sound better if combined using transition words and phrases. This does not sound like a TOEFL essay topic to me though - is it?

Hi luschen, Many thanks for your correction that is really useful for me.

As a Vietnamese saying [goes], “[G]o everywhere in the world, there is no one who is as hard as mom, and the life burden there is nobody who is as hard as dad”.{this saying is a little confusing to me - could you clarify it?} This is a Vietnamese saying that shows the hardness and burden’s life of both Mom and dad who take care of the children.

I and you have on this earth is based on our father and mother.{this sentence is confusing to me} this sentence I wanted to mention that "everyone, who is on earth, is based on their parents to give birth to them. Please help me to rewrite this to help it sound natural.

I still don’t quite understand the saying. Is it saying that the mother is the toughest one, but the father has to deal with the toughest situations? I did find this one though - I like it: Công cha như núi Thái Sơn, nghĩa mẹ như nước trong nguồn chẩy gia.

For your other sentence, maybe " You, I, and everyone else on earth would not even be alive were it not for our mothers and fathers."

many thanks Luschen ,

The saying I mentioned is “Đi khắp thế gian không ai khổ bằng mẹ, gánh nặng cuộc đời không ai vất bằng cha”