What do you think about my toefl essay?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Face-to-face communication is better than other types of communication such as letters, email, or telephone calls. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

With the advent of technology new types of communication such as letters, email, and telephone calls have become popular among people. Despite of this development many people prefer to have face-to-face talks. On my opinion, face-to-face communication is better than other types of communication for three specific reasons, which I will explain in the following essay.
First of all, face-to-face interaction leads to a sense of community, which leads to a stronger relationship and connection. This type of communication often sets trust and understanding between conversation partners, and ultimately creates a better working relationship. For example, face-to-face communication is particularly important in business meetings, where important decisions need to be made. Meeting face-to-face shows commitment, while eliminating any problems and issues that may exist between the groups.
Second, face-to-face communication is also important for boosting productivity. Attendants of one-on-one meetings have opportunities to brainstorm over tasks and problems without limitations of time after sharing an information. To exemplify, if some issues occur while meeting face-to-face, partners can solve the problems more effective and quicker, than if it would be online when email can cause more problems than it solves.
Lastly, in face-to-face communication it is easier to convince people. Communication over texts or emails can be inconvenient and ineffective. On face-to-face meetings people are more likely to have their full attention. For instance, persuading is an essential skill for business owners. And the most of the time, it is much easier to get people’s attention on their point when they are in the same space.
To conclude, face-to-face communication is more convenient and better than other type of communication because it builds strong connection and trust between groups, enhances productivity in workers, and increases chances to convince other people.

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Hello @Homaspace and welcome to our forum! Let’s go through your essay piece by piece.

With the advent of technology , new types of communication

Put a comma here. The sentence flows better and puts a natural pause there. Without the necessary commas, it can be confusing to read something. Also, the clause “with the advent of technology” is non-essential (the rest of the sentence would still have meaning without it), so we separate it with a comma from the rest.

Despite of this development ,

The correct form is “despite this development,” but you can also just say “despite this.” Also, put a comma after this clause too – same reason as above.

On my opinion,

It should be “in my opinion,” but I realize this might be a typo since i and o are next to each other on the keyboard. (Btw, this is good comma placement here!)

solve the problems more effective and quicker, than if it would be online

No comma needed! We never put commas when making a comparison (in our case, when using “than.”)

On face-to-face meetings

It should be “in face-to-face meetings.”

And the most of the time

No need for the first “the” – the correct form is “and most of the time…”

it is much easier to get people’s attention on their point

“Get people’s attention to their point” is the correct phrase.


Other than that, everything is good! These mistakes are small enough that they wouldn’t detract much from your essay, but it’s always better not to make them at all. Just practice your prepositions a bit more and you’ll be fine! If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask.

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Hi Homaspace, welcome to our forum and many thanks for sharing your essay which I enjoyed reading. It reminded me of the following post by @Alan:

@Sumejja, thank you so much for taking the time on a Saturday morning to correct Homaspace’s essay.

Homaspace, could you please share something more about you and your plans for this year? Why are preparing for the TOEFL test?

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