Thank you in advance for reviewing my writing submission. I am preparing to take Toefl exam next month.
The two basic rooms in every house or apartment are bedroom and bathroom. It seems like these two rooms are the most important rooms in the house. However, I consider that the kitchen is the most important room for me. Most of time my family spends together is in the kitchen. In addition, I love cooking food. Moreover, there are a lot of good memories related to kitchen.
First, My father is a great chef. He usually cooks in the evening preparing dinner for my family. Everyone in the family has to help him. We spend time preparing food at least 30 minutes and having dinner at least 30 minutes. Sometimes we sit and talk about what we have been through that day or discuss on various topics. As my father and mother run business and they do not have much free time, they set a policy that we have to have dinner together.
Second, I enjoy cooking food. I am not a good cook as my father because I do not follow the recipe. I like to create a new dish. I hold a view that cooking food is some kind of art. I add some new ingredients to make it tastier and more attractive. I feel relax every time I try to make a new dish even if it never taste good as I thought. I am still practicing and hope that one day I can be good on cooking like my father.
Third, Most of my activities in day if I stay home related to kitchen. I use dining table to study when I get stress and cannot sit in my room. I found out that studying in kitchen helps me memorize better than studying in my room. I got A+ from two subjects that I studied in the kitchen. Beside, I often consult my parents about the serious problems at the dining table. Therefore, many memories related to my family take place at the kitchen.
From those reason, I choose the kitchen to be the most significant room. If I plan to buy a new house, I will make a perfect kitchen. I will have a wonderful space to spend time cooking and talking with my family or even studying.
It is an interesting topic, yeah?
There is almost no grammar or spelling mistake in your essay, and this is good!
However, if you want to achieve high mark in your TOEFL writing, this is not enough.
You have too many short sentences, so your expression seems not so attractive, especially in your first paragraph. As we all known, the beginning of an essay is pretty important, because it gives the first of impression to the readers.
Read more and practice more, in order to enrich your expression as well as to be more imaginative, and I think you can do better next time.
I am a learner, too, so these are all my personal opinions.()