Try different jobs before decide long term career

Hey Kitos~ Please revise my new essay~ Thanks a lot~

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
Young people should try different job before they decide which job or career they will do in the long term!

Currently, an increasing number of young people are going through a phase of life where they jump from job to job, looking for the perfect one to stay in. This phenomenon has raised a heated debate among the public of whether young people should try different jobs before doing something permanent as a career. While some people may hold the opinion that young people should immediately decide their long term career, I personally stands that there is more benefit than harm to try different jobs.

To begin with, trying out different jobs will help us to discover our potential and our real interest. It is rather hard for young people, who have just graduated from school and lack social experience, to decide what kind of career is well suited for them. Without testing their ability and pushing themselves to limits by trying out different jobs, they can easily regret their initial decision.

Although, as the economy goes down and job gets harder to find, people who constantly change job may be accused by the public for being irresponsible to the society, I think such action is indeed taking the responsibility for themselves and the society as well, for they can then put the right person in the right career, which guarantees better social profits.

In addition to understanding personal value and being self-responsible, trying out different job will give us a chance to interact with different kind of people, and this human resource, i.e. networking, will, in the end, be of great value in our long term career. My sister, Nancy, who has worked as a bank clerk, accountant and human resource manager before choosing her career as a sales manager, has brought her company innumerable profit by having a huge network. The former jobs had also given her experiences in communication, which assured her success in sales, where tactful skills of dealing with people are required.

Admittedly, staying in one career from the being to the end can give you better understanding and experiences in the field, or even higher salary for being an expert. But indeed, there are things in life that are way more interesting than making money. Think about the challenges you may encounter, think about the unique knowledge you can learn, think about the fun you can have, who wouldn’t want to try out different jobs?

In a nutshell, trying different jobs before staying permanent on one can make one’s life much more worthwhile and interesting!

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from a social sciences class

Hey Kitos~ Please revise my new essay~ Thanks a lot~

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
Young people should try different job before they decide which job or career they will do in the long term!

Currently, an increasing number of young people are going through a phase of life where they jump from job to job, looking for the perfect one to stay in. This phenomenon has raised a heated debate among the public of whether young people should try different jobs before doing something permanent as a career. While some people may hold the opinion that young people should immediately decide their long term career, I personally stands that there is more benefit than harm /to try/IN TRYING/ different jobs.

To begin with, trying out different jobs will help us to discover our potential and our real interest. It is rather hard for young people, who have just graduated from school and lack social experience, to decide what kind of career is well suited for them. Without testing their ability and pushing themselves /to limits/TO THE LIMIT/ by trying out different jobs, they can easily regret their initial decision.

Although, as the economy goes down and job gets harder to find, people who constantly change THEIR jobS may be accused by the public AS being irresponsible to the society, I think such action is indeed taking the responsibility for themselves and the society as well, for they can then put the right person in the right career, which guarantees better social profits.

In addition to understanding personal value and being self-responsible, trying out different jobS will give us a chance to interact with different kindS of people, and this human resource, i.e. networking, will, in the end, be of great value in our long term career. My sister, Nancy, who has worked as a bank clerk, accountant and human resource manager before choosing her career as a sales manager, has brought her company innumerable profitS by having a huge network. The former jobs had also given her experiences in communication, which assured her success in sales, where tactful skills of dealing with people are required.

Admittedly, staying in one career from the being to the end can give you better understanding and experiences in the field, or even AN higher salary for being an expert. But indeed, there are things in life that are way more interesting than making money. Think about the challenges you may encounter, think about the unique knowledge you can learn, think about the fun you can have(.) Who wouldn’t want to try out different jobs?

In a nutshell, trying different jobs before staying permanentLY IN one can make one’s life much more worthwhile and interesting!
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Very well written Janey. Well done.

Kitos. 9/10