Topic47: If you were an employer, which kind of worker would you prefer to hire?

Doshima · October 17, 2012, 11:20am

Topic47: If you were an employer, which kind of worker would you prefer to hire: an inexperienced worker at a lower salary or an experienced worker at a higher salary?

As a rule, some employers tend to prefer to hire an inexperienced worker because they do not want to pay a higher salary to him. However, I think it is a better idea to hire an experienced worker at a higher salary. For one thing, we do not need to give an elemental training to him. In addition, paying a higher salary to an experienced worker is not a problem but a due.

First of all, an experienced worker is able to work very well without taking an elemental training after joining a company. If we hire an inexperienced worker, we have to teach various elemental trainings to him. For instance, we would have to teach him a manner and how to send an e-mail and so on. However, these days, a lot of companies are competitive and plenty of them work very hard to succeed in their bisinesses. Also, the society changes rapidly and a number of companies manage to keep up with it. Therefore, we need a worker who can go far in a company soon after joining it. If we hire an experienced worker, he will work very well for the benefit of the company by making use of effective ways based on his experiences.

In addition, paying a higher salary to an experienced worker is not a big problem. An experienced worker will be able to make much more benefits with his experienced and skills than an inexperienced worker. Of course, the profit of the company will increase in proportion to such workers’ works. Therefore, we can pay a higher salary to the experienced worker. Moreover, this, needless to say, should be conducted for the worker. A higher salary is an incentive for a lot of workers. Therefore, if a worker can take a lot of salary, he will bring himself to work hardly more and more.

To sum up, I think that it is a better idea to hire an experienced worker for a company. He will be able to work without taking an elemental training. In addition, paying a higher salary to him motivates him to work more and more for the company’s benefit.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from a life sciences class

Luschen · October 18, 2012, 4:23am

Hi Doshima,

I thought this essay was pretty good, although perhaps not up to your recent standards. You have a good structure although I thought your reasoning in your second body paragraph was a bit weak. Your grammar and vocabulary were pretty good, but you had an awful lot of odd sounding phrases and confusing sentences in this essay. Overall, I would rate it a 3.5 out of 5.

Doshima:

Topic47: If you were an employer, which kind of worker would you prefer to hire: an inexperienced worker at a lower salary or an experienced worker at a higher salary?

As a rule, some employers tend to prefer to hire an inexperienced worker because they do not want to pay [him] a higher salary to him.{it was ok, but this sounds better} However, I think it is a better idea to hire an experienced worker at a higher salary. For one thing, we do not need to give an elemental training to him. In addition, paying a higher salary to an experienced worker is not a problem but a due.{this phrase is unclear to me - what do you mean?}

First of all, an experienced worker is able to work very well without [requiring elementary/basic/fundamental] taking an elemental{avoid repetition} training after joining a company. If we hire an inexperienced worker, we have to teach [basic knowledge] various elemental trainings to him. For instance, we would have to teach him a manner{“teach him a manner” is unclear to me - what do you mean?} and how to send an e-mail and so on. However, these days, a lot of companies are competitive and plenty of them work very hard to succeed in their bisinesses.{spelling} Also, the society changes{“is changing” seems better to me} rapidly and a number of companies manage{“are struggling” or “are fighting” seems better} to keep up with it. Therefore, we need a worker who can go far in a company soon after joining it. If we hire an experienced worker, he will work very well for the benefit of the company by making use of effective ways based on his experiences.

In addition, paying a higher salary to an experienced worker is not a big problem. {this topic sentence is pretty vague} An experienced worker will be able to make[provide] much more benefits with his experienced[experience] {experience is getting very repetitive} and skills than an inexperienced worker. Of course, the profit of the company will increase in proportion to such workers’ works{“tasks” or “accomplishments” are better}. Therefore, we can pay a higher salary to the experienced worker. Moreover, this, {what is “this” ? “this … conducted” is confusing to me} needless to say, should be conducted for the worker. A higher salary is an incentive for a lot of workers. Therefore, if a worker can take a lot of [earn a high] salary, he will bring himself to work hardly {“work hardly” could be confused with “hardly work” - meaning to barely work at all} more and more.

To sum up, I think that it is a better idea to hire an experienced worker for a company. He will be able to work without [requiring fundamental] taking an elemental training. In addition, paying a higher salary to him motivates him to work more and more for the company’s benefit. {this is not that convincing - paying an inexperienced worker more would probably motivate him as well - your explanation in the body paragraph is a bit better though}

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from a life sciences class

Doshima · October 18, 2012, 10:11am

Thank you very much for comments.

I did not notice that there were many confusing phrases and sentences in this essay, even when I revised before sending this essay. Well, I think that it is not easy to write a clear essay that makes sense to not only myself but also other people. I need to practice more.