Topic27: Which view do you agree with?

Topic27: Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on their school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Compare these two views. Which view do you agree with?

Many parents hope that their children have great grades in school. Therefore, these days, many children tend to begin to study at an early age. However, I think that it is important for them to play with their friends more because playing helps them develop the power of communication, and creativity.

First of all, playing helps children’s power of communication improved. Generally, students who study in school tend to be competitive. Children have to make efforts to get better grades and to pass the exam. To be sure, because getting grate grades shows their high level of intelligence, studying hard at a very early age may be important. However, I think that it is not better for them to regard their friends as mere rivals since they are very young. Rather, they had better strengthen their power of communication by playing with their friends. When they play together, they notice the importance of cooperation with pther people, or being tolerative, or they may learn to compromise some things in some cases. These abilities are things that children cannot get through textbooks and lectures.

Secondly, playing can creative children’s imagination. In case of studying, children are required to learn specific knowledge. Theachers tend to put value on the idea that children should learn knowledge noted on textbooks rather than exhibit their creativities and imaginations. Playing, however, isn’t different. They free to create various interesting ways about playing, and these activities help their imagination and creativity grow. Moreover, children can also apply these facilities to other things. For example, they may be able to create some ways to make studying in school more exciting.

To sum up, playing can help children have some abilities that they cannot get by studying in school; the power of communication, such as cooperation and tolerance, and creativity and imagination. Although learning knowledge doesn’t need much time, we cannot develope the power of communication and imagination in a little day. Therefore, I think that children should spend more time on playing.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from a social sciences class (2)

Hi, I thought this essay was very good. You have a good overall structure with a clear thesis statement and good topic sentences. Your reasoning is pretty good, but I think some specific examples would help to support your points. Your grammar is good, but you do have a few odd sounding sentences. Overall, I would rate this a 4 out of 5.

Thank you very much for corrections. I try to reduce misspellings.