Topic: success in life comes from taking risk or results from careful planning

English as a Second Language Preparation for and help with the TOEFL® Test and
1

Could you please check my essay?
This is the first post I leave on our forum and I hope that after this post, I can receive the comments from all of you. Your comments will encourage me to post the further essay.
Thank you so much :slight_smile:

Topic: Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risk or chances. Others believe that success results from careful planning. In your opinion, what does success come from? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some people believe that success comes from taking risk or chance because risk taking decision often provide them higher return; however, the probability that risk taking decision become success is often low. Hence, for me, careful planning is essential thing to help people success in their life for the following reasons: well prepared and active.

First of all, careful planning plays the key role in achieving specific objective due to good preparation. When you make a careful plan, you will understand in detailed what you have to do to attain the goal, what the due is, what your strengths is to develop as well as what your drawbacks to improve. The more carefully you prepare for your job, the more successful you are. For example, when doing a 5000-word-research paper, I had a meticulous plan for it rather than doing it by chance. As a result, I can fulfill my research paper on time and satisfy my expectation.

Secondly, careful planning helps me become active. When planning diligently, I always try to predict unexpected situation and think in advance the solution for it. By doing so, I can avoid the mistakes and make my job perfect. For example, before taking final exam I often do the the same form test as the test I would take on the test day; so that I can know about the mistakes and correct it. By this way, I would not make the same mistakes and get higher score in final exam.

In conclusion, careful planning is indispensable part for anyone who wants to obtain the success in life. Therefore, everybody should have their own plan, both short-term and long-term plan, to be successful in their life.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of Natural History

2

Some people believe that success comes from taking riskS or chanceS(,) because risk taking decision often provide them WITH A higher return; however, the probability that risk-taking decision become successFUL is often low(,) hence for me, careful planning is AN essential thing to help people FIND success in their LIVES for the following reasons. well prepared and active.

First of all, careful planning plays the key role in achieving specific objectiveS due SOLELY to good preparation. When you /make/DEVISE/ a careful plan, you will understand in DETAIL what you have to do to attain the goal, what the due is, what your strengths ARE IN developING YOUR PLAN(,) as well as what your drawbacks ARE to YOUR improvING. The more carefully you prepare for your job, the more successful you are. For example, when doing a 5000-word-research paper, I had a meticulous plan for it rather than doing it by chance. As a result, I WAS ABLE TO /fulfil/COMPLETE/ my research paper on time(,) and satisfy my expectationS.

Secondly, careful planning helps me become active. When planning diligently, I always try to predict ANY unexpected situation(,) and think in advance the solution TO it. By doing so, I can avoid the MAKING mistakes and make my job perfect. For example, before taking A final exam I often do the the same form test as the test I would take on the test day; so that I can know about the mistakes BEFOREHAND and correct THEM. IN this way, I would not make the same mistakes and get A higher score in MY final exam.

In conclusion, careful planning is AN indispensable part for anyone who wants to obtain the success in life. Therefore, everybody should have their own both short-term and long-term planS, to beCOME successful in their LIVES.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Good morning Janguyen, and WELCOME to our Forum. You do excellent work, and I’m sure you will become a valuable asset to our thread. Thank you for posting.

Kitos. 8/10[/s]