Topic: Museum and art galleries

[thaodang119]

Hi leaders, please help me check this essay. Thank you in advance

Museums and art galleries should concentrate on works that show history and culture of their own country rather than works of the other parts in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Visiting museums and art exhibition has becoming one of the prevalent choices in modern-day life. Some individuals assume that it is of importance for such places to display the historical relics and works of art from its own country rather than those from oversea culture. Personally, I somewhat agree with this statement as exhibiting artfacts from other civilizations can provide as many benefits as those from the local one.

On the one hand, I concur that domestic history and local tradition should be the focus of any museums and art galleries in order to honor and preserve these national values. In fact, museums are the places to show citizen’s respect to heroes and predecessors who made great contribution to the lands where it is located. Through objects of art preserved in museum, residents can have a deep insight in the glory and decline of emperors in their country and this may instill patriotism and national pride on their mind. Consequently, they raise their awareness of preserving traditional customs from generation to other generation.

On the other hand, exhibition of other cultures in various countries in the world also plays vital role in local citizens’ social life. Hardly can people have a broad understanding of the outside world without being informed the history or cultural values from other civilizations, thus people can broaden their horizon as being exposed to artworks from foreign lands might bring people a new version of the new world. For example, enjoying and sense masterpieces made by worldwide artists such as Vincent van Gogh would provide visitors a wider view in arts sector.

In conclusion, preserving cultural values of its own country can cultivate resident’s nationalism and those of other civilizations give people great chance to develop well-rounded mind in various aspects, thus it seems to me that both of them should be equally concentrated on.

[Luschen]

Hi Thaodang, this was a really good essay up until the conclusion. Parts of your conclusion were a little confusing and the whole thing just sounds unnatural. The rest of your essay was excellent though, solid band 7 writing. You did a great job of defining to what extent you held your opinion and your body paragraphs really supported your thesis. Here are some specific suggestions:

@thaodang119

Visiting museums and art [exhibitions] has [become] one of the prevalent [leisure-time] choices in modern-day life. Some individuals assume that it is of importance for such places to display the historical relics and works of art from [their] own country rather than those from [an overseas] {“foreign” might be better, because not all foreign countries are “overseas”} culture. Personally, I somewhat agree with this statement[,] as exhibiting [artifacts] from other civilizations can provide as many benefits as those from the local [area]. {a “local civilization” sounds odd to me}

On the one hand, I concur that domestic history and local tradition should be the focus of [many] museums and art galleries in order to honor and preserve these national values. In fact, museums are the places to show citizen’s respect to heroes and predecessors who made great [contributions] to the lands where [they are] located. Through objects of art preserved in [museums], residents can have {“can gain” sounds better here} a deep insight [into] the glory and decline of [kings, rulers, and] emperors {not every country has had emperors} in their country and this may instill patriotism and national pride [in their minds]. Consequently, [through visiting these museums,] they raise their awareness of preserving traditional customs from generation to other generation.

On the other hand, [exhibitions] of [historical art and relics from] other cultures in various countries in the world also [play a] vital role in local citizens’ social life. {“social life” sounds a bit odd - it would mean it keeps them entertained, but I think you are thinking about deeper effects than just another event on one’s social calendar} Hardly can people [can hardly] have a broad understanding of the outside world without being informed [of] the history or cultural values from other civilizations[. Thus,] people can broaden their horizon [by] being exposed to artworks from foreign lands[, since they] might bring people a new version of the new world. [outlook on the world around them.] For example, enjoying and [experiencing] masterpieces made by [world-renowned] artists such as Vincent van Gogh would provide visitors a wider view in [the field of art] sector.

In conclusion, preserving cultural values of [a museum’s] own country can cultivate resident’s nationalism[. Nevertheless, exhibits focusing on] {“nationalism” generally has a negative connotation, though Great Leader Trump may disagree } those of other civilizations give people [a ]great chance to develop well-rounded mind [to become well-rounded] in various aspects [of art and history. Thus,] it seems to me that both of them [have a place in modern galleries] should be equally concentrated on. {this sounded a little awkward to me}

[thaodang119]

Rest in peace my leader