Topic 87 : the most beneficial discovery in last 100 years ; it is fixed

[Toannd_Ithut]

I’m so sorry because of my last essay. I have just written a new essay with same topic. Please fix it for me.

The electronic information age that we are living today certainly makes dramatic changes in the way we communicate and express ourselves. It is simple for many people to contact dozens of others very easy at higher speed than that of years ago. Hence, which draws my attention, when considering the most beneficial discovery in the last 100 years, is obviously the exploration of the Internet. There are several reasons for my choice and I would like to put them in the following way.

Initially, thanks to the assistance of the Internet, people find it extremely easy to keep in touch with others. Surfing the Internet provides us such great opportunities to join in a number of forums, blogs, facebook as well as send messages and emails to our friends. In other words, only with a computer accessed to the Internet, we can open our eyes to the vast outside world. Without a doubt, the Internet is indispensably an important discovery that connects people and shrinks our common world.

Secondly, what convinces me that the Internet is a wonder of modern technology is its abundant source of diverse and useful information. For instance, on the aspect of contributions to education, both students and teachers can get many benefits from using Internet. Downloading materials, searching new information, taking online courses are worth being mentioned in this case. Also, they can easily upload and share experience and documents among networked community. Thus, the Internet is advantageous for all its users

Last but not least, the Internet holds a crucial part in creating business opportunities for the one who is interested in. In the past, setting up a business required a lot of investment, location and employees. Things are different nowadays due to the Internet, especially the online business. Opening a virtual shop without spending much money as well as using convenient ways to advertise products to potential customers may make us in favor of networked business much more than traditional one.

In brief, the Internet is more and more popular in my country and brings benefits to everyone. That is why I think that the Internet is the greatest invention in last 100 years in the World

TOEFL listening discussions: How is the young woman financing her education?

[Kitosdad]

@Toannd_Ithut

I’m so sorry because of my last essay. I have just written a new essay with same topic. Please fix it for me.

The electronic information age that we are living in today certainly makes dramatic changes in the way we communicate and express ourselves. It is simple for many people to contact dozens of others very easily at higher speed than that of years ago. Hence, which draws my attention when considering the most beneficial discovery in the last 100 years, is obviously the exploration of the Internet. There are several reasons for my choice and I would like to put them in the following way.

Initially, thanks to the existence of the Internet, people find it extremely easy to keep in touch with others. Surfing the Internet provides us with such great opportunities to join in a number of forums, blogs, Facebook, as well as send messages and emails to our friends. In other words, with a computer accessed to the Internet, we can open our eyes to the vast outside world. Without a doubt, the Internet is indispensably an important discovery that connects people and shrinks our common world.

Secondly, what convinces me that the Internet is a wonder of modern technology is its abundant source of diverse and useful information. For instance, on the aspect of contributions to education, both students and teachers can get many benefits from using the Internet. Downloading materials, searching new information, taking on-line courses are worth being mentioned in this case. Also, they can easily upload and share experience and documents among networking communities. Thus, the Internet is advantageous for all its users

Last but not least, the Internet holds a crucial part in creating business opportunities for anyone who is interested in them. In the past, setting up a business required a lot of investment, a good location and competent employees. Things are different nowadays due to the Internet, especially the on-line business. Opening a virtual shop without spending too much money as well as using convenient ways to advertise products to potential customers may make us in favor of a networked business much more than a traditional one.

In brief, the Internet is more and more popular in my country, and brings benefits to everyone. That is why I think that the Internet is the greatest invention in last 100 years.
…
Well done Toannd_Ithut. Are you satisfied with your second attempt?

Kitos. 8.5/10

TOEFL listening discussions: How is the young woman financing her education?

[Toannd_Ithut]

Thank for your assistance, Kitos. I am pretty satisfied with my essay. However, i will try to better.