TOEFL TOPIC/ Please rate it. Thanks in advance

[Wenbo]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Working at home using computers or telephones is better than working in the office.

With the development of modern communication technology, more people are prefer to work at home by using computers or telephones. However, although this working manner really brings some benefits to us, I don’t think working at home is better than working in the office.

To begin with, working in front of computers for a long time will harm people’s health, both physically and mentally. For example, in the recent decade, with the booming of the E-commerce in China, an increasing number of people start their own businesses on websites such as Taobao.com. These sellers need to stay in front of computer from eight o’clock in morning to ten in the evening. Although most of them earn a lot of money, many of them suffer from disease on their necks, backs or waists because they lack regular exercise. However, if they could work in an office, at least they will walk or ride a bicycle for a certain period of time every day, making them have sufficient exercise. What’s worse, some of the Taobao sellers are diagnosed with depression because they have no face-to-face communication in most of their time. The only way they interact with others is sending and receiving sale information by instant communication tools such as MSN or Tecent QQ. So in terms of health, working at home doesn’t have an advantage over working at office.

Moreover, working in the office will facilitate the communication with our workmates. Sometimes talking in person is much more effective than talking via telephones. For instance, when I did my internship in an accounting firm, I needed to work at the client’s office with my supervisor and other team members. Once I had problems or something I could not figure out, it was very easy for me to seek a solution from my supervisor, Kim, who just sat on my left. She could figure out where I got stuck in by simply looking at my spreadsheet. However, if I had stayed at home using VPN or telephones, it would have been taken more time for me to clarify my question.

To summarize, although telephones and computers bring many advantages to our work, they also cause several negative consequences as what I mentioned above. Therefore, we cannot simply and absolutely say that working at home using these modern telecommunication tools is better than working at office.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the Louisiade Archipelago host more bird species than the Hawaiian Islands?

[Luschen]

Darn, I already rated this essay and I gave it a 4.5 but the forum messed up - oh well, one more time. Your essay is very good; I really liked your detailed examples that supported your thesis very well. You do have a few errors here and there - I am not sure how much they would affect your score, but I would rate this a 4.5 out of 5.

@Wenbo

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Working at home using computers or telephones is better than working in the office.

With the development of modern communication technology, more people are prefer[ring] to work at home by using computers or telephones. However, although this working manner{this sounds a bit odd - maybe “working style” or “manner of working”} really brings some benefits to us, I don’t think working at home is better than working in the office.

To begin with, working in front of computers for a long time will harm people’s health, both physically and mentally. For example, in the recent decade, with the booming of the E-commerce in China, an increasing number of people [have] start[ed] their own businesses on websites such as Taobao.com. These sellers need to stay in front of [their] computer from eight o’clock in [the] morning to ten in the evening. Although most of them earn a lot of money, many of them suffer from disease[strain] {diseases are usually caused by microorganisms} on their necks, backs or waists because they lack regular exercise. However, if they could work in an office, at least they will[would] walk or ride a bicycle for a certain period of time every day, making them {“allowing them sufficient” or “giving them sufficient” are better} have sufficient exercise. What’s worse, some of the Taobao sellers are diagnosed with depression because they have no face-to-face communication in most of their time{“… communication during their day” is better}. The only way they interact with others is sending and receiving sale[s ] information by instant communication tools such as MSN or Tecent QQ. So in terms of health, working at home doesn’t have an advantage over working at [an] office.

Moreover, working in the{“an” is beter} office will facilitate the communication with our workmates. Sometimes talking in person is much more effective than talking via telephones. For instance, when I did my internship in an accounting firm, I needed to work at the client’s office with my supervisor and other team members. Once[When] I had problems or something I could not figure out, it was very easy for me to seek a solution from my supervisor, Kim, who just sat [just] on my left. She could figure out where I got stuck in by simply looking at my spreadsheet. However, if I had stayed at home using VPN or telephones, it would have been taken more time for me to clarify my question.

To summarize, although telephones and computers bring many advantages to our work, they also cause several negative consequences as what I mentioned above. Therefore, we cannot simply and absolutely say that working at home using these modern telecommunication tools is better than working at [an] office.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the Louisiade Archipelago host more bird species than the Hawaiian Islands?

[Luschen]

Darn, I already rated this essay and I gave it a 4.5 but the forum messed up - oh well, one more time. Your essay is very good; I really liked your detailed examples that supported your thesis very well. You do have a few errors here and there - I am not sure how much they would affect your score, but I would rate this a 4.5 out of 5.

@Wenbo

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Working at home using computers or telephones is better than working in the office.

With the development of modern communication technology, more people are prefer[ring] to work at home by using computers or telephones. However, although this working manner{this sounds a bit odd - maybe “working style” or “manner of working”} really brings some benefits to us, I don’t think working at home is better than working in the office.

To begin with, working in front of computers for a long time will harm people’s health, both physically and mentally. For example, in the recent decade, with the booming of the E-commerce in China, an increasing number of people [have] start[ed] their own businesses on websites such as Taobao.com. These sellers need to stay in front of [their] computer from eight o’clock in [the] morning to ten in the evening. Although most of them earn a lot of money, many of them suffer from disease[strain] {diseases are usually caused by microorganisms} on their necks, backs or waists because they lack regular exercise. However, if they could work in an office, at least they will[would] walk or ride a bicycle for a certain period of time every day, making them {“allowing them sufficient” or “giving them sufficient” are better} have sufficient exercise. What’s worse, some of the Taobao sellers are diagnosed with depression because they have no face-to-face communication in most of their time{“… communication during their day” is better}. The only way they interact with others is sending and receiving sale[s ] information by instant communication tools such as MSN or Tecent QQ. So in terms of health, working at home doesn’t have an advantage over working at [an] office.

Moreover, working in the{“an” is beter} office will facilitate the communication with our workmates. Sometimes talking in person is much more effective than talking via telephones. For instance, when I did my internship in an accounting firm, I needed to work at the client’s office with my supervisor and other team members. Once[When] I had problems or something I could not figure out, it was very easy for me to seek a solution from my supervisor, Kim, who just sat [just] on my left. She could figure out where I got stuck in by simply looking at my spreadsheet. However, if I had stayed at home using VPN or telephones, it would have been taken more time for me to clarify my question.

To summarize, although telephones and computers bring many advantages to our work, they also cause several negative consequences as what I mentioned above. Therefore, we cannot simply and absolutely say that working at home using these modern telecommunication tools is better than working at [an] office.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the Louisiade Archipelago host more bird species than the Hawaiian Islands?

[Luschen]

Darn, I already rated this essay and I gave it a 4.5 but the forum messed up - oh well, one more time. Your essay is very good; I really liked your detailed examples that supported your thesis very well. You do have a few errors here and there - I am not sure how much they would affect your score, but I would rate this a 4.5 out of 5.

@Wenbo

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Working at home using computers or telephones is better than working in the office.

With the development of modern communication technology, more people are prefer[ring] to work at home by using computers or telephones. However, although this working manner{this sounds a bit odd - maybe “working style” or “manner of working”} really brings some benefits to us, I don’t think working at home is better than working in the office.

To begin with, working in front of computers for a long time will harm people’s health, both physically and mentally. For example, in the recent decade, with the booming of the E-commerce in China, an increasing number of people [have] start[ed] their own businesses on websites such as Taobao.com. These sellers need to stay in front of [their] computer from eight o’clock in [the] morning to ten in the evening. Although most of them earn a lot of money, many of them suffer from disease[strain] {diseases are usually caused by microorganisms} on their necks, backs or waists because they lack regular exercise. However, if they could work in an office, at least they will[would] walk or ride a bicycle for a certain period of time every day, making them {“allowing them sufficient” or “giving them sufficient” are better} have sufficient exercise. What’s worse, some of the Taobao sellers are diagnosed with depression because they have no face-to-face communication in most of their time{“… communication during their day” is better}. The only way they interact with others is sending and receiving sale[s ] information by instant communication tools such as MSN or Tecent QQ. So in terms of health, working at home doesn’t have an advantage over working at [an] office.

Moreover, working in the{“an” is beter} office will facilitate the communication with our workmates. Sometimes talking in person is much more effective than talking via telephones. For instance, when I did my internship in an accounting firm, I needed to work at the client’s office with my supervisor and other team members. Once[When] I had problems or something I could not figure out, it was very easy for me to seek a solution from my supervisor, Kim, who just sat [just] on my left. She could figure out where I got stuck in by simply looking at my spreadsheet. However, if I had stayed at home using VPN or telephones, it would have been taken more time for me to clarify my question.

To summarize, although telephones and computers bring many advantages to our work, they also cause several negative consequences as what I mentioned above. Therefore, we cannot simply and absolutely say that working at home using these modern telecommunication tools is better than working at [an] office.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the Louisiade Archipelago host more bird species than the Hawaiian Islands?