Toefl Independent Essay, Please evaluate it, thank you in advance!

Hi everybody,

I’ve my Toefl ibt exam in three weeks, I must get 100/120.
Can you please evaluate this essay? I really would appreciate it. Thank you!

Read and think about the following statement: “The college years are the best time in a person’s life”.

College is an important part of our life because it gives a huge contribution to the formation of our personality and our ambitions, and also it partially determines our future career. Many students think that life after college is going to be much better than how it is now, because you are going to be completely independent from your family and you will finally have the possibility to build a family and have your own house. Nevertheless, I strongly believe that college years are the best time in a person’s life for many different reasons.

First of all, years in college are fun and give you the opportunity to live through very interesting experiences. I had one of the most important experiences of my academic life last year. After winning a university competition, based upon the knowledge of Languages and Business, I had the opportunity to spend a six-month period of study in Berlin at the Hochschuele fuer Technik und Wirtschaft Berlin. Here, the International Office offered me free accommodation in the residence where most of the international students from that university lived. I met so many people from different countries and continents, with completely different cultural backgrounds than mine; together we organized many themed parties in the residence in order to know the cultures better. This was one of the best experiences of my life, which I definitely will never forget.

Secondly, I believe that years in college are surrounded by a beautiful and large sphere of light-heartedness, because you do not have responsibilities except that of succeeding in your exams and projects. If a college student wants to skip a class because he had a big party the night before, he can easily do that, without worrying about any consequences. In contrast, someone that is finished with university and that is currently working can absolutely not do that. For example, my father works in a bank as office director. He has to be the first to come at work, and the last one to leave the bank. He spends at least eight hours a day at work. Stu-dents, on average, do not have to spend more than four hours a day in class. When my father comes back home, he has many other tasks to complete for my family, he has to make sure that both my brother and I are ok, that we are doing well in school, and that we do not need anything. He has so many responsibilities and I can understand why he is extremely stressed sometimes. In contrast, a college student is allowed to take his time, and to not study for a few days. He does not have to worry about almost anything.

The years in college are fun, they give you the chance to live unforgettable experiences, and especially they do not give you many responsibilities. The only thing you have to do is to pass some exams. And that is why I strongly agree with the statement “The college years are the best time in someone’s person”.

I decided to opt for a 4-paragraph essay, because in this way I could go more into details with my examples.
Word count: 507

Thank you again for your help!

TOEFL listening discussions: What problem does the student have?

This is a good Start

You may want to summarize your reasons in your introduction to start with, so it give snes of what to expect subsequently

My 2 cents

Dear Raj,

Thank you for your feedback. I appreciate your suggestions and I will try to summarize my reasons in the introduction in the next essays I’m going to work on.

Which grade you think I would get?

Thank you again.


i am afride, i do nto know the answer for that questions.

Probably some of the experienced evaluators on this forum may be able to give a correct grade

My 2 cents

Ok thank you anyway. P.s. it’s not afride, but afrAId :wink:

I invoke the help of the Toefl experts for this question, i have to take the TOEFL next 9th of december!.

Thank you!

For example, Alan and Torsten can you please help me? Thank you!!