TOEFL essays: Compare and contrast the advantages...

Dear Alan,
please correct my TOEFL essays

Compare and contrast the advantages of choosing a stable career over an adventurous lifestyle

Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.

Your Answer:
in my opinion a stable career is several times better than a lifestyle which offers adventure alone.as a grown up individual, i feel,a promosing career is perhaps the prime requirement of one’s life.it is not necessary that we lead a dull life with a routine job.on the contrary,if we learn to manage our time schedule effectively we can pack adventure ,fun and work all together in our daily lives.

it is at a certain age only when a person is free of resposibilities and is able to lead life on his own terms. deriving thrill out of every act might be the greatest source of pleasure.at that time adventure and fun might be his only concerns.in his youth a person naturally tends to be carefree and is attracted towards glamourous and not-so-simple things in life.

eventually as one matures and faces harsh realities of life he yearns for a consistent stress free source of income to meet his day to day requirements.as a person raises a family and his needs increase,this desire for a stable life-pattern furthur strengthens.while an adventurous lifestyle would fascinate and last for only a short span a stable career goes a long way in shaping a person’s life.one can only derive sheer pleasure out of adventure but cannot feed himself with that pleasure.to survive one needs certain basic requirements like food,shelter,clothes which can only be fulfilled by a continuous source of income earned earnestly.

to conclude i would like to say that undoubtedly,“variety is the spice of life” and we can definitely enjoy our lives in a much better way by inculcating adventure ,fun and glamour along with the prime requisite of a stable career.

Question:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

The automobile has brought more harm than good to the planet.

Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.

Your Answer:
it would not be incorrect to say that though an indispensable commodity in today’s fast moving world an automobile scores higher on the disadvantages to the very existence of living beings rather than its advantages.

with the advent of an automobile no doubt the world has shrunk to a small size.greatest of distances can be travelled in no time.there has come a revolution in almost every field with the means of transportation getting advanced day by day.be it the postal department or business sector,the industries or the medical feild ,every one would seem crippled in the absence of automobiles.

when we see the other side of the coin,this invention has had a disastrous effect on the health of not only human beings but other animals and plants as well.everyday hundreds of new vehicles throng the already overbusy roads.most of the people due to lack of time and negligence dont even get their vehicles serviced in due time,resulting in enormous pollution. air pollution as well as noise pollution are on a constant rise these days.in an environment full of smoke and dust where even plants cant survive humans are bound to suffer from various ailments such as allergy,partial deafness,asthma and other lung diseases.during fall ,when this smoke combines with fog it gives rise to smog which is the major culprit for the tremendous increase in lung diseases in that season.the gases released as a result of fuel combustion get mixed with vapour in atmosphere and may lead to "acid rain"the major constituent being sulfuric acid .when in contact ,it can even burn the skin and cause several types of allergies.

we say"health is weath" ,but of what use would be all this advancement and fast pace if it has such delitirious effect on our survival?to conclude i would like to suggest that we all could makeearth a better planet for our own existence by observing certain rules such as keeping the minimum number of vehicles,getting them serviced and checked for pollution.underage and untrained people should be barred from driving.without the use of this commodity no doubt our world would come to a stand still but at the same time a judicious use of it would definitely go a long way in letting us have a joyous ride.

leaving your native land and migrating to another country ,for sure. confronts people with altogether a different cultural and social atmosphere.while some of the people prefer to follow their own traditions ,most of the migrants gradually imbibe the new environment and culture as best suited to their lifestyles.in my opinion there is no harm in following ones own cultural heritage as long as it does not interfere with ones growth in the new habitat and also the individual should not be unduly stressed while practicing his customs.it would be best to adapt to the new society and its norms keeping part of ones own culture alive with least amount of resistance possible.

in a place such as canada where we see a part of country inhabited majorly by the sikhs it has almost become a mini punjab.in such a place there is no problem for a sikh immigrant to preserve his cultural roots in the earnest sense .infact canada has many religious places called the gurdwaras specially built for that cult of the society.now they even have special marriage halls built according to their own customs.in such an environment a person can easily persist with his cultural roots.

whereas in a place like the united kingdom if a hindu wishes to practice his customs purely ,it would not be practically possible.he may not find a temple in the vicinity of his residence where he could pay regular visits.there may not be enough people of his sect to celebrate their mutual festivals.also if he keeps adamant on not getting mixed up in the new found environment and follow his customs sternly he might at a point start feeling aloof from the society .this would defy the basic essence of a man’s existence i.e.,“man is a social animal.”

to conclude, when moving to another country a person must adapt himself to the present circumstances.being rigid in his customs and religion will only add to his stress.rather a person must be willing to welcome the new found culture with open arms as all countries,i believe, have rich cultural heritage and customs, while keeping his own traditions alive in his heart and practice them as and when possible.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of American History

Hi Ruchi_smiles,

I have made some changes in CAPITAL letters:

Your Answer:
in my opinion a stable career is several times better than a lifestyle which offers adventure alone. as a grown up individual, i feel, a promosing career is perhaps the prime requirement of one’s life.it is not necessary that we lead a dull life with a routine job.on the contrary,if we learn to manage our time schedule effectively we can pack adventure ,fun and work all together in our daily lives.

it is at a certain age only when a person is free of resposibilities and is able to lead life on his own terms. deriving thrill out of every act might be the greatest source of pleasure.at that time adventure and fun might be his only concerns.in his youth a person naturally tends to be carefree and is attracted towards glamourous and not-so-simple things in life.

eventually as one matures and faces harsh realities of life he yearns for a consistent stress free source of income to meet his day to day requirements.as a person raises a family and his needs increase, this desire for a stable life-pattern furthur strengthens.while an adventurous lifestyle would fascinate and last for only a short span a stable career goes a long way in shaping a person’s life.one can only derive sheer pleasure out of adventure but cannot feed himself with that pleasure.to survive one needs certain basic requirements like food, shelter,clothes which can only be fulfilled by a continuous source of income earned earnestly.

to conclude i would like to say that undoubtedly,“variety is the spice of life” and we can definitely enjoy our lives in a much better way by inculcating adventure ,fun and glamour along with the prime requisite of a stable career.

Question:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

The automobile has brought more harm than good to the planet.

Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.

Your Answer:
it would not be incorrect to say that though an indispensable commodity in today’s fast moving world an automobile scores higher on the disadvantages to the very existence of living beings rather than its advantages.

With the advent of an automobile no doubt the world has shrunk to a small size. THE greatest of distances can be travelled in no time.There has come a revolution in almost every field with the means of transportation getting advanced day by day be it the postal department or business sector,the industries or the medical feild/FIELD, every one would seem crippled in the absence of automobiles.

When we see the other side of the coin,this invention has had a disastrous effect on the health of not only human beings but other animals and plants as well. EVERY DAY everyday hundreds of new vehicles throng the already overbusy roads. Most of the people due to lack of time and negligence don’t even get their vehicles serviced in due time,resulting in enormous pollution. Air pollution as well as noise pollution are on a constant rise these days.in an environment full of smoke and dust where even plants can’t survive humans are bound to suffer from various ailments such as allergy, partial deafness, asthma and other lung diseases.During fall, when this smoke combines with fog it gives rise to smog which is the major culprit for the tremendous increase in lung diseases in that season.The gases released as a result of fuel combustion get mixed with vapour in atmosphere and may lead to "acid rain"the major constituent being sulfuric acid .When in contact ,it can even burn the skin and cause several types of allergies.

We say"health is weath" ,but of what use would be all this advancement and fast pace if it has such delEtErious effect on our survival?To conclude i/I would like to suggest that we all could make earth a better planet for our own existence by observing certain rules such as keeping the minimum number of vehicles,getting them serviced and checked/CHECKING for pollution.Underage and untrained people should be barred from driving.Without the use of this commodity no doubt our world would come to a stand still but at the same time a judicious use of it would definitely go a long way in letting us have a joyous ride.
REMEMBER TO START EACH NEW SENTENCE WITH A CAPITAL LETTER-----------------------------------------------------------
Leaving your native land and migrating to another country ,for sure. confronts people with altogether a different cultural and social atmosphere.While some of the people prefer to follow their own traditions ,most of the migrants gradually imbibe the new environment and culture as best suited to their lifestyles.In my opinion there is no harm in following one’s/YOUR own cultural heritage as long as it does not interfere with one’s /YOUR growth in the new habitat and also the individual should not be unduly stressed while practicing his/THEIR customs.It would be best to adapt to the new society and its norms keeping part of one’s /YOUR own culture alive with least amount of resistance possible.

In a place such as Canada where we see a part of country inhabited majorly/MAINLY by sikhs. It has almost become a mini punjab.in such a place there is no problem for a sikh immigrant to preserve his cultural roots in the earnest/REAL sense .In fact Canada has many religious places called the gurdwaras specially built for that cult of the society.Wow they even have special marriage halls built according to their own customs.in such an environment a person can easily persist with his cultural roots.

Whereas in a place like the United Kingdom if a hindu wishes to practice his customs purely ,it would not be practically possible.(NOT TRUE!)he may not find a temple in the vicinity of his residence where he could pay regular visits.There may not be enough people of his sect to celebrate their mutual festivals.Also if he keeps/REMAINS adamant on not getting mixed up in the new found environment and followS his customs sternly he might at a point start feeling aloof from society .This would defy the basic essence of a man’s existence i.e.,“man is a social animal.”

To conclude, when moving to another country a person must adapt to the present circumstances. Being rigid in his customs and religion will only add to his stress.rA PERSON MUST RATHER/ather a person must be willing to welcome the new found culture with open arms as all countries,I believe, have rich cultural heritage and customs, while keeping his own traditions alive in his heart and practice them as and when possible.

Most of what you write is good but do remember after a full stop, start the new sentence with a capital letter. Remember also that names of countries have capital letters - Canada/United Kingdom. When you use a possessive, you must use an apostrophe as in one’s although it is better to say your.

Alan