Hi! Could pls somebody review my toefl intergrated writing part. I am not sure it’s a good idea to post here the whole given text and the script of the audio, so maybe just some advices about my grammar and word usage. Thanks a lot!
An essay:
As the lecturer has mentioned, there are a lot of doubtless benefits of using solar panels as an energy source. Firstly, he mentions that energy produced by the solar panels is renewable and clean in a sense of production costs. Although one has to use fossil fuels to produce a solar panel itself, the energy being produced after that compensates this investment and offsets the production costs what also allows a reduction of pollution. This corresponds to the point of the replacement for fossil fules from the second paragraph and low costs from the third paragraph.
Another point that the lecturer comes up with is a multiply ways of usage this source of energy. As the solar panels are being held by a person that bought them, they can control the energy income and also avoid unnecessary waste of money and overproduced resources. These points are being discussed in the second paragraph of the passage.
Last but not least argument for alternative source of power is a financial benefit: People can not only produce the energy for themselves but also sell it to the companies and have a great profit for a longer period of time from this one-time investment. That also comes with some taxes reductions what make the idea of renewable solar power even more interesting. This corresponds to the fourth paragraph where a financial side is being discussed.
Summarizing it’s worth mentioning that both the lecturer and the text are trying to prove one thesis: The solar energy has a great potential usage and people should consider that as an energy source more seriously.
As the lecturer mentioned, there are a number of undeniable advantages of using solar panels as an energy source. First, he mentions that the energy produced by solar panels is renewable and clean in terms of production costs. Although fossil fuels must be used to produce a solar panel itself, the energy produced afterwards compensates for this investment and offsets the production costs, which also allows for a reduction in pollution. This is consistent with the fossil fuel replacement point from the second paragraph and the low cost from the third paragraph.
Another point that the speaker raises is the multiple ways of using this energy source. Since the solar panels are owned by a person who bought them, they can control the energy revenue and also avoid unnecessary waste of money and overproduced resources. These points are discussed in the second paragraph of the text.
The final argument in favor of alternative energy sources is the financial advantage: people can not only produce the energy for themselves, but also sell it to companies and make a large profit on this one-time investment over a long period of time. In addition, there are some tax breaks that make the idea of renewable solar power even more interesting. This corresponds to the fourth paragraph, which discusses the financial side.
In summary, it is worth noting that both the presenter and the text are trying to prove a thesis: Solar energy has a great potential for use and people should take it more seriously as an energy source.