TOEFL essay sample: Some people believe that students...

[size=150]TOEFL essay sample[/size]

Topic :

Some people believe that students should be given one long vacation each year. Others believe that students should have several short vacations throughout the year. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

It is very essential that different people manage to live and behave by different way. Particularly, students have variety of views in studying methods. A number of them feel comfortably with current schedule of school year with a long vacation at the end. The others believe that it will be better for them with several short vacations throughout the year. In my case, I prefer opinion of first group, while agreeing with some arguments of second group.
A continuous school year has its advantages, it helps pupils in schools and students in universities concentrate and get good results in their studying. A long vacation then give students and pupils enough of time for refreshment and preparation for new school year. Their parents, in my opinion, might not pay a lot of attention to look after them in holidays. The thing students don’t like is continuous studying seems to be too tedious for ones, who can not deal with long and heavy jobs or prefers diploma to gained knowledge.
The opinion support having several short vacations throughout the year has its logic. As I mentioned above, some students intend to have a balance between studying, relax and care about other things of the real life. Another group of students, insisting of workers, want to have a part-time studying, and this kind of studying schedule if more comfortable for them. I just don’t believe in their result. How can they have good enough knowledge without appropriate concentration? It is very popular in developing countries that many people, because of different causes, look for different ways to have a diploma. Anyone can imagine how they will apply their studying in their jobs.

I would like to finish my own opinion with a clear statement that although school year with several short vacations is good for some students, but in general, a good result can be gained only with appropriate concentration of pupils and students by using school year schedule with only one long vacation at the end.

TOEFL listening discussions: Why has the student been taking statistics?

Hi gianglt,

I have made some suggestions in CAPITAL letters and put brackets ( ) around words that are unnecessary: