TOEFL essay, please rate it and correct it , thank you

In some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and office buildings. Do you think this is a good rule or a bad rule? Use specific reasons and details to support your position.

As the time goes by, more and more concerns about health have been arose. Nowadays, people are prohibited smoking in some areas, such as the offices, the restaurants, or the indoor places. Government realizes that the health of citizens takes an important part in a country’s prosperity. This regulation is definitely good to people, providing civilians a better life.

On the onset, modern people become stressful because of busy works, picky bosses, and uncooperative colleagues. Smoking alleviates their tensions and stresses. In addition, smoking brings us friends. For example, when we smoke, someone who forgets to bring the lighter will definitely turn to us to ask for the lighter. In this way, we start the conversations, including jobs, families, or girlfriends. However, although smoking has some merits, it is not the most ideal way to relax our bodies and minds.

According to the researches, the second-handed smoke is even more detrimental to people who do not smoke. Moreover, when we go into a place where smoking is allowed, our cotton clothes absorb the smoke and store it in the fibers. It really smells awful. Third, some smokers, who do not have a good habit, simply dispose the cigarettes ubiquitously, destructing the environment. Therefore, it is mandatory that relevantly non-smoking regulations be imposed.

Every civilian has his own right, and nobody can deprive their right to smoke. On the other hand, the health of non-smokers should be protected. To show respect to non-smokers and fairness to smokers, a proper way for government to solve the dilemma is to designate smoking areas. For instance, offices, department stores, restaurants, and coffee shop and so on should construct a space for smokers, separating the smoking and non-smoking areas. This is going to be a win-win consequence.

To sum up, although smoking is not good for the health of people, we are still need to respect the smoker’s right. Were I to suggest a better way for both smokers and non-smokers, I would recommend esteeming each other and obeying the regulations. Not only relax is important, but also health is more essential. Hence, prohibiting some areas from smoking is an ideal decision.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from an arts class (2)