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hello everybody, iam a new member of the forum, today I want to create a new topic in the forum about english essay. ^^ i have an essay here but i think that it still has some mistakes. please help me to find out and correct it. Thanks in advance.
here is the topic[/size] :“If you could make a positive change to your life, what would you like that change be?”
You ask me about a positive change I want to make if I could. Yes! People always want to make changes in their lives: some want to be strong, some want to be the rich…some even want to change the world ^-^.For me. It’s simple. It’s not a physical change because everybody can grow up by this way. But here, I am expressing about the change in thinking>it’s the change from a want-of- thought person to be a mature one, it’s really important not only for me but also for all of you even though somebody thinks that it’s such a small thing. To prove my opinion, I will tell you a story; an unforgettable experience in my whole life.
Sixteen years passed by from a day at the end of October in the year of monkey. I have had many changes. From a stunted kid, now I become a healthy high school girl thanks to my mother’s tender hands and the protection of my father. But the real change only came to make a new me just nearly 2 months ago, it was a terrible event.
It was a scorching sun noon. That day, I dragged my feet to go home in a depressed mood. Holding the mark chart of the last semester tightly in my hand, I was transfixed and I even didn’t want to cry: I was at the last position of all students in my class. I felt that thin paper was as heavy as thousands of pounds…because I knew how much sad and disappointed my parents would be. I can’t help thinking about my mother‘s eyes dimmed with tears. I wasn’t strong enough to cope with that horrible sight; I decided to write a letter enclosed the mark chart and left home. I wandered through all streets in my beloved city with a friend of mine and then came to sleep at one of my classmates’ house. The first night far from parents, from loving house was as long as a century. I tossed about sleeplessly all through the night with indescribable feelings. I was lost in thought of myself. At the thought of my mother, I compassionated her a lot. Why did she have a daughter like me? A resplendence sensation was full in my heart. I remembered my time when I was in primary and junior school, it was really good times, I was always no 1 in class, but see now? Not anymore. This result put a paid to all. I was disqualified from the victory ~~.The next morning at school was meaningless; I had no heart and mind to study. I didn’t want this class to be over but it had to, I went home to face to my mother and maybe I would leave home forever. I walked slowly and hard till to I saw my father looking for me and took me home. He said nothing to me; just waved his head quietly after threw to me a sad look. Oh my God, my mom was laid down on the bed; I could feel the tear stream inside. I was stunned to realize how much I love her. I made a huge mistake; I cried silently and hugged her tightly in my hands. neglecting studies and faulty superficial thoughts of a lazy guy who think myself to be mature could be very dangerous to kill me and my mother that I don’t think about. Perhaps my mother let me off because I am her life’s treasure.It was that unforgettable moment changed me into a new one, just because I want my mother, my father… will see my victory.
That’s my story ^-^.It’s meaningful to my life from then on. It was a big lesson that I learned from failure. It’s the big change- the change of thinking in human beings. Some people think about what big change, but for me it’s simple and enough that now I am a mature person. That’s the biggest change I’ve ever had. So guy, if I could make a positive change to my life, I would do that again^^ and you?
TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of Anthropology
the first thing I wanna say is thank you so much. i appreciate your remark a lot.