Dear Luschen;
Would you please rate this essay? I’ll appreciate all your friendly helps.
Thanks;
TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a university student and an adviser in the university’s work-study program
Topic: do you agree or disagree about this statement? “The collage years are the best time in a person’s life”.
There is no doubt that the entrancing the collage accompanies by wide experiences. It increases person’s knowledge and his personal understanding. By entrancing the collage, individuals can benefit from high education, and a fruitful and different atmosphere from high school. Apparently, it is possible for students in this period to become major in different fields, and can get familiar with well educated persons, and also they can improve their personality. Although, having a good time in the collage depends on many things, and I personally believe the most important factors are making good friends and benefiting from a well education condition. In this assay, I will explore my points of view about this issue in details in the following paragraphs.
On one hand, it is evidential that the college years could be the best time in a person’s life. However, I personally believe it depends on several factors. In my view, one of the most important factors is the possibility to have some real friends, and having the chance to establish deep friendships and brotherhood with them. Clearly, it is so important because making good friends not only helps a student to more enjoy from his college period, but also it helps him to more easily solve his personal and educational problems. For example, when I was a freshman, I had made a lot of friends, at first, and I had best and joyful time with them. Unfortunately soon, I found none of them were sincere. They were always trying to hurt me. Finally, I had to end up my all friendships with them, and after that, for a period, I had suffered from loneliness till finally I could found my real and best friend, Elham. I’ve been always helped her in her lessons, and instead she has always been my emotional supporter. Continuously, there have been a friendly relationship between us, and it has enormously helped all us to improve our lives, and enjoy our times in the collage period and after that. So, a person can enjoy from his college years if who can make good friends and establish sincere friendships with them.
On the other hand, the college years can be the worst period in the person’s life, if his educational conditions cannot really satisfy his. It is evidential that the satisfaction is the most important factor in enjoying every period in the person’s life, and the collage years is not an exception of this general rule. I personally believe that the poor educating, having unprofessional and not sympathetic professors and having insufficient scientific sources can cause disappointment and sadness. For example, when I was in undergraduate course, our collage suffered from having a very limited library, and poor management in regarded to giving a private room to each professor. The library had very few limited books in different field. Beside this problem, we could hardly found our professors during the week. They had nearly attended at collage at certain busy times, and in these times they had no more time to deal with their students problems. Unlucky, our professors had rarely introduced a variety range of useful books to us, and they had never provided us with the electronic versions of different books. So, when I had faced a problem in my lessons I could hardly solved that. I think that educational condition always annoyed me and made my college period one of the bitterest time in my life. Consequently, it would be expressed that the educational condition has the most important role in the enjoying of college period.
In sum, taking all mentioned details and reasons into account, I would like to stress that, however, the collage period could bring enormous advantages for a student, it can accompanied with different difficulties too. Also, pleasantness of this period depends on many different things. In my point of view, the most important factors, in having best time in the collage, are, firstly, making sincere and good friends, and secondly, benefiting from a standard education condition. However other people may hold a different idea from mine.
Thanks dear;
Hi, first, you should never call someone “dear” unless they are your sweetheart - or maybe you want them to become so. 
Your writing is very good, but very long as well - I don’t think you would be able to write this much in 30 minutes. It is important to practice your essays under time constraints so you can manage your time better. I like your format - usually I say to pick one side or the other on questions like this, but you handled both sides of the argument pretty well. You do have a lot of small errors and word choices that could be improved, making some of your writing sound unnatural. Still, I would rate this a 4 out of 5.
Hello dear Luschen;
You are right. I am just permitted to use of “dear” at the beginning of formal letters. However I should say that you have been so gentle to me, and I think you have been more than a simple teacher or friend to me. However, I will be more careful about this application now and then 
Mr. Luschen, would you please rate another essay of me? I tried to manage time and write that as long as needed ({I am wondering is the latest sentence true?}). Thanks for your all guides and helps :))
Ati;
Topic: Are you agree or disagree with this statement: “pets should be treated like family members”?
It is obvious that pets have their own special status, and it is not wise to mix their ones to the individuals’. The domestic animals can be good friends for humans. In my viewpoint, they should be treated with enough consideration, but they are not as important as the family members. Family has always its unique status and this should never be equally given to anything. Also, it is possible that paying unlimited attentions to pets cause different problems such as ignoring the family members’ importance. In this essay, I will explore my points of view on whether pets should be treated like family members or not, in details in the following paragraphs.
On one hand, pets can be good friends for humans. By establishing relationships with them, persons can be able to avoid loneliness and depression. However, they should be behaved in a limited manner. For example, one of our relatives had a lot of cats. She used to let them to go everywhere in her home and she was always in close contact with them. Unfortunately, she accidently got a serious disease of her cats. Therefore, pets should have a certain place for living there, and, apparently, they could not be treated and touched as the family members. People should learn to put difference between pets and individuals and to avoid physically getting so close to them.
On the other hand, pets obviously are live and benefit from intelligence and feeling. In my point of view, people should respect to animals and avoid annoying and teasing them. If someone has a pet in their house, they should know they are responsible to them as to their family members. They should always be careful about their foods, water and environmental conditions such as temperature, cleanness and so on. For example, several days ago my sister bought a chicken for her kid to make him busy. He has wanted to take it everywhere he went and persistently wanted to play with it. Soon the chicken died. I think behaviors like that of my sisters’ are not fair, because animals are not toys. So, pets should be morally treated as the members of the family.
In sum, taking all mentioned details and reasons into account, I would like to stress that people can benefit from friendship with pets, though they should learn to put difference between pets and individuals and avoid getting much physically contact with them. Also, pets are intelligence and should be treated morally as the members of the family. However, other people may hold a different idea from mine.
Sincerely thanks;
Ati I am on vacation and can only acces the Internet occasionally on my iPhone. I will be back July 4.
No problem :@ I hope you have best time on vacation I have no vacation this summer I want to take summer course… I teach in university I am the youngest teacher there… in fact I have finished my master course and now I am busy with teaching and studying. I have plans for phd…
I will wait for you to come back and read my essay Thanks my dear teacher
Hi Ati, I think your writing was pretty good, but I had some trouble figuring out exactly how you answered the prompt. If you are arguing that pets should be treated like family members, talking about the risk of catching diseases from your pets does not really support your argument. In this type of essay, you should really only include information that supports your point of view. Have I shown you this webpage? It does a good job of giving an outline for a 5 paragraph essay: bookrags.com/articles/4.html
Your writing was generally clear and understandable, though you did have some errors in usage here and there and a few grammatical errors. Overall, I would rate this a 3.5 out of 5.
Salaam;
Thanks of your revision and all the information sharing with me I really learnt a lot of your revising and all your suggestions… Thanks
dear Luschen;
Hi;
How are you? I hope you be fine and everything is going well with you and your family :). could you please rate this assay? I will appreciate in advance.
Question: leaders like John F. kennedy and Martin luther King have made important contributions to the people of the United States. Name another world leader you think is important. Give specific reasons for your choice.
I personally believe that one of the best presidents in Iran has been Mahmoud Ahmadi Negjad. Although, maybe he has been known as an arrogant and inflexible person but he has done many precious works for Iran, which are not ignorable. He has put some important regulations into action of benefit to the workers. Also, he has strictly and impatiently followed the transportation and construction projects during his leadership. I should sincerely express that he has really made his best endeavors to improve Iran. In this essay I will explore my points of view about the leadership of Ahmadi Nejad and his contributions to the people of Iran in details in the following paragraphs.
Firstly, he has actually been a supporter of the working class people. He has persuaded the government to make the workers officially employed and to give them special facilities. In the past, the workers have to work for the private companies, which easily deprive them from their own legal rights. For example, these companies could easily employ or dismiss a worker without paying their real insurance. For example, one of our neighbors worked in a company of packing chickens. Because her pregnancy, she had to get two month off the work. After she came back to her work they easily refused to accept her to continue her work and just paid her a little amount of money. Luckily, Mr. Ahmadi Nejad set up some new laws and put them into actions. At present, these laws have made the situation of workers more stable and reliable; they are paid according to the regulations and none of each private or public companies are able to trespass these laws. The Iranian workers populations are really thankful of this leader.
Secondly, he has significantly improved the transportation system in Iran. During his presidency he has constantly travelled to different cities of Iran to directly meet the necessary requirements. For example he ran the project of the fourth biggest tunnel in the world into action in Shiraz. He used to apparently or secretly visit the running projects, and has the authorities to put a lot of effort to finish them correctly and at the least time. For example, he wanted the Shiraz mayor to arrange the Saddi tomb project ended faster, and to invest enough money to improve the surrounding atmosphere of this famous poet tomb as well. I have to express that Iran has been never seen such active and patient leader in the whole of its history.
In conclusion, taking all the mentioned details and reasons into consideration, I would like to express that one of the best leaderships in Iran has been Mr. Ahmadi Nejad, first of all, he has actually been a supporter of the low rank people especially the workers and secondly, he has significantly improved the transportation system in Iran. However, other people may hold a different idea from mine.
Thanks;
Hi Ati65, I thought you did a very good job with this essay. I was not that familiar with your president - obviously we get some biased reporting over here in America YOu have a lot of details that do a great job of addressing the prompt. It seems quite long - did this take you longer than 30 minutes? You do have some odd word choices though and some phrases that we a bit unclear to me - you might have to explain them a bit more explicitly. I think your structure is fine, but you do have quite a few incorrect prepositions. Overall, I would rate this a 4 out of 5.
Dear Luschen;
Hi! Could you please rate this essay? I appreciate in advance.
Thanks;
Question: do you agree or not with this statement?! “standardized tests like TOEFL provide sufficient information to determine whether students should be admitted to a college or university”.
Today, the scores of standardized tests like GRE and TOEFL have become a main part of common criteria for students’ selection in many universities all over the world. Nowadays, of the most important factors that universities rely on them to select the students and to grant them fellowships are the grades of such tests. These tests are good gauges to assess many of the students but not all of them. I personally believe they should not be necessary for the intelligent students with outstanding educational backgrounds.
On one hand, I personally believe that the standardized tests are good tools to select students. These tests could really estimate the ability of students to learn besides measuring the students’ knowledge which is essential to enter college or university. For example, I teach physics to the students who enter the university without passing any entrance test. Most of them are so weak and it is too hard to teach them. I think if they had to pass the general entrance test, undoubtedly, most of them failed and it made them to increase their knowledge before entering the university. So, in my point of view standardized tests are important to determine which of the students are fit to enter the college or universities.
On the other hand, these tests could just be hindering issues in some cases. In my viewpoint, it is possible to decide about a student just by looking at his resume and transcripts, which are good materials for judgments. For example, when a student has got high GPAs in all his courses and has a recorded invention or has published several papers in ISI journals, they really deserve to be admitted without passing any standardized tests. Therefore, the standardized tests sometimes are not essential and they can be ignorable.
In conclusion, taking all the mentioned details and reasons into account, I would like to stress that, in general, the standardized tests are a good idea for selecting students and estimating their abilities though they could just be hindering issues in some cases. However other people may hold a different idea from mine.
Thanks so much;
Hi, I think your writing is very good in this one. You sort of rewrote the question though to suit your own ideas though. You argue that the TOEFL does indeed provide sufficient information, but in some cases is not necessary. But that second part is not really part of the prompt. I don’t know if this would be a problem, but it is always safest to stick very closely to the prompt and not to bring up exceptions or other options. You have that one confusing sentence, but I think you just left out a word or two. It definitely took me some thinking to come up with a solution that would be intelligible. The rest of your writing was very clear, though some phrases could be worded a little better. Overall, I would rate this a 4.5 out of 5, assuming the graders felt you were not skirting the subject.
Thanks :))
Dear Luschen;
Hi. Good time! Would you please evaluate this essay. I appreciate in advance
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? “There are times when the lying is acceptable”.
Undoubtedly, lying is an ugly feature that might a person possesses. Sometimes, individuals habit to lie in any situation. They apply lying as an escaping tool when a situation become though. However in some cases, people resort to lying when they think this is the only option that they have and if they tell the truth everything become worse. So, they set exclusion for themselves and just in special cases they lie. In my point of view, lying is unconscious and wrong in any situation and individuals should be courage enough to tell the truths or be powerful enough to solve the problems in logic ways.
On the one hand, a group of people believe that lying is right when a person could not find any other way to solve a problem or explain their behavior. In fact, such persons believe in an old saying that “lying is better than telling the disputing truth”. For example, maybe a person has already done something wrong, for instance he reaches the work late, and their boss angrily ask the reason they may say a lie to calm the boss. As a result, such people think that telling lie is acceptable when telling the truth causes more problems so they avoid being brave and facing more distractions and difficulties.
On the other hand, another group of people believe that lying is unacceptable in any situation, and they should try to find logic and moral ways to solve their problem. These people believe that lying is wrong even though this is the only helpful way. They do not like to trick other people and they always try to be honest and frank. For example, if a person of this group make a mistake, for instance forget to take their kid from the school, he just try to convince their family by describing that he was very busy minded and forgot to take the kid. Such person just tries to convince others by telling truth and logic reasons.
In conclusion, taking all the reasons and details into account, I would like to stress that, in my viewpoint, lying is wrong in any situation, and people would always be honest, and it is not acceptable that a person resort to lying in the sake of avoiding the consequences of their behavior.
Thanks;
TITLE EDITED.
Please help everyone to make the most of this forum and its resources by giving your threads meaningful and relevant subject lines.
As the subject line has been edited to refer to the original essay in this thread, I suggest you post new essays in new threads.
I see you now have. However, you didn’t add a descriptive title.
english-test.net/forum/ftopic137676.html