Could someone correct my essay please? I am grateful for any suggestion or comment made about my writing. Thank you in advance!
Toefl Essay #003: Food is now easier to prepare. Is this a good thing?
In today’s society that is marked by a race against the clock, everything has to be done in the briefest way possible since time has become a rare good. This way of thinking can be retraced back into many people’s kitchens, where preprocessed food accounts for the bulk of all the food found in the refrigerator. Nevertheless, this way to save time has its price, namely a decrease in the quality of eating, the loss of cooking as a social event, and the high dependency on preprocessed food.
In the first place, the consumption of fast food is a thread to the health. Since preprocessed food usually contains more calories and unsaturated fats than regular food, it is more likely, if consumed on a regular basis, to induce illnesses such as obesity. Furthermore, during the process of industrialized precooking, fast food looses a great amount of its vitamins, which the consumer of this kind of food now has to get from other sources. If he fails to do so, he runs the risk of suffering from an illness caused by a lack of minerals. In short, fast food normally is richer in calories and devoid of minerals essential for the well-functioning of the human body, and therefore augments the risk of severe illness or even early death.
In the second place, with the dwindling of the proper preparation of food at home, an important social factor gets lost. Who remembers the good old days when Mum stood next to the oven and taught us how to cook? Along with the handing down of recipes for home made pie, she almost always told a little story connected to the dish she was about to prepare. Moreover, there is hardly any need to call some of your beloved to get advice on the preparation of a certain dish, since all the necessary information is already written on the packing. With the increasing purchase of preprocessed food cooking more and more looses its status of an event of social interaction.
Lastly, the higher offer in the area of preprocessed food leads to a growing dependency on this kind of food.
Recent statistics have revealed that at a great number of young couples is highly dependent on buying food, since they do not know anymore how to cook on their own. In addition, those couples have to spend a greater amount of money on their groceries due to the on average higher prices of preprocessed food. The resulting lack of money in their budget they have to compensate by working longer shifts, which gives them less time to prepare their food. In order to get out of this vicious circle, especially young couples must resort to the own preparing of food instead of purchasing overpriced fast food products.
In conclusion, the growing facility in the preparation of food has turned out to have a number of serious disadvantages, may it be the risk for the bodies health, the increase in the opportunity of social interaction, or the almost fatal dependence it causes. So think twice when you go to the supermarket the next time and ponder over the question whether to take the microwave ‘macaroni and cheese’ or to pay the vegetable section a visit.
TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the professor mention the weather at the beginning of his lecture?