today's first essay, THANK YOU!

[Vivianmi]

People should have hobbies and do physical activities that are very different from one’s work

Entertainment and exercise are two extremely important parts of our lives that we can never live without. However, some people put forward a statement that a person should have hobbies and do physical activities that are very different from one’s work. Personally, I think these two aspects actually have little connection and too different hobbies and physical activities may be harmful, so I definitely disagree with this statement.
First, as I have stated in the first paragraph, I do not think one’s work has much effect on the hobbies he has or physical activities he does. Hobbies a person chooses to do should be beneficial to him, even though they are not different from his work. For example, my father is an electronic engineer and his favorite thing to do in his free time is to read books concerning electricity field. Once when I asked him why his hobby was reading books about his area, he told me because reading those books could improve his professional skills and abilities. Therefore, I realize no matter a person’s hobby is different from his work or not, what he should have is a hobby which does good to his future life.
In addition, the job a person has suggests her personality to some degree and doing some special different physical activity may be too hard for her to handle it and may even injury her. For example, my sister is a quiet writer who is good at writing romance stories. Her choice of taking such a quiet job suggests that she may not be a girl who can handle with some extreme sports. Once her friend persuaded her to try bungee jumping and she did, however, she was so frightened when she was up and town in the air that she screamed and shouted too much and eventually hurt herself. 
Granted, some people like to have hobbies or do physical activities that are very different from their work but their choices are based on their interest. For example, actually, I am a photographer and my hobbies are shopping. I enjoy buying various clothes, bags, shoes and so on but because I have great interest in how to make myself more beautiful and charming but not because it is different from my work.    Therefore, in my opinion, it is not accurate to say a person’s choices of his hobbies or physical activities should be very different from one’s work and I think his choices should depend on his own reasons such as his interest.
 All in all, based on the three reasons above, no matter their hobbies or the physical activities are different from their work or not, since the hobbies and activities are beneficial, not harmful and interesting, people can of course choose them. Thus, I absolutely disagree with the statement that people should have hobbies and do physical activities that are very different from one's work.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor in the College of Fine Arts

[Luschen]

Hi Vivian, another great essay with plenty of detailed and personal examples. You seemed to have some awkward sounding sentences here and there - some of it may be the topic, which is hard to restate in just a few words. You also seemed to have quite a bit of repetition, but that may be the topic again. Still, I would rate this a 4.5 out of 5.

@Vivianmi

People should have hobbies and do physical activities that are very different from one’s work

Entertainment and exercise are two extremely important parts of our lives that we can never live without. However, some people put forward[s] a[/s][the] statement that a person should have hobbies and do physical activities that are very different from one’s work. Personally, I think these two aspects actually have little connection [s]and too different[/s] hobbies and physical activities [that are too different from one's typical workday] may be harmful, so I definitely disagree with this statement.
First, as I have stated in the first paragraph, {this sounds a little awkward to me} I do not think one’s work has much effect on the hobbies he has or physical activities he does. [The] Hobbies a person chooses to do should be beneficial to him, even [s]though [/s][if] they are not different from his work. For example, my father is an electronic engineer and his favorite thing to do in his free time is to read books concerning [the field of] electricity [s]field[/s].{"electricity field" sounds too much like "electric field" - something else altogether}  Once when I asked him why his hobby was reading books about his area, he told me because reading those books could improve his professional skills and abilities. Therefore, I realize no matter [whether] a person’s hobby is different from his work or not, what he should have is a hobby which does good to {"does good to" does not sound very good} his future life.
In addition, the job a person has suggests her personality to some degree and doing some special different physical activity may be too hard for her to handle [s]it[/s] and may even injur[e ] her. For example, my sister is a quiet writer who is good at writing romance stories. Her choice of taking such a quiet job suggests that she may not be a girl who can handle [s]with[/s] some extreme sports. Once her friend persuaded her to try bungee jumping and she did, however, she was so frightened when she was [bouncing] up and [ d]own in the air that she screamed and shouted too much and eventually hurt herself. 
Granted, some people like to have hobbies or do physical activities that are very different from their work[,] but their choices are based on their interest. For example, actually, I am a photographer and my hobb[y is] shopping. I enjoy buying various clothes, bags, shoes and so on but because I have great interest in how to make myself more beautiful and charming but not because it is different from my work.    Therefore, in my opinion, it is not accurate to say a person’s choices of his hobbies or physical activities should be very different from [s]one’s[/s][his] work and I think his choices should depend on his own reasons such as his interest. {it seems like you have a lot of repetition in here - I guess you are summing up your examples, but it seems like you are repeating yourself quite a bit}
 All in all, based on the three reasons above, no matter [whether] their hobbies or the physical activities are different from their work or not, since the hobbies and activities are beneficial, not harmful and interesting,{this sounds like you are saying they are not interesting} people can of course choose them. Thus, I absolutely disagree with the statement that people should have hobbies and do physical activities that are very different from [s]one's[/s][their] work.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor in the College of Fine Arts