Hello moderators,
could you kindly explain the difference between the phrases “to me” and “for me”. Are there any special rules we should stick to when choosing which of these two phrases to use.
Thank you
Hey, I can think of one example that I had a hard time with myself.
I used to say: “Thanks for doing this “to” me”. In my language, “to” and “for” have the same meaning.
Anyway, a friend once told me that when you say someone did something “to” you, it means the person did something bad to you.
If someone does something “for” you, it means the person is doing something nice.
My friend said: Thanks for doing this “for” me. And stop doing this “to” me.
Anyway, does anyone have more examples?
.
Hello, Galusya, and welcome to English-Test.
Where concern often rises about these two phrases is when they are fronted in a sentence:
To me, golf is a pointless game.
For me, golf is a pointless game.
These have the same meaning here, and are interchangeable. As one commentator put it:
“…People are using the frontal ‘for me’ mostly as an ellipsis of ‘as for me’(‘as far as I’m concerned’). As for ‘to me’, they are using it as a shortened form of the phrases like ‘it sounds/looks/seems/appears to me’.”
There are other structures where the prepositions lead to differences in meaning, of course:
It is pointless for me to continue this discussion = I have no good reason to continue talking.
It is pointless to me to continue this discussion = It seems to me that there is no good reason for anyone to continue talking.
Galusya, could you tell us your native language, and what kinds of things confuse you? That could help us figure out what advice you need.
My guess, from your name, is that you speak some Slavic language. There are some situations in which many people have trouble deciding whether the indirect object of a sentence should end up in a to phrase or a for phrase.
For example:
They baked her a cake.
= They baked a cake for her.
(They made the cake for her benefit.)
He bought me a camera.
= He bought a camera for me.
(He bought the camera for my benefit.)
She sent me a package.
= She sent a package to me.
(The package went to me.)
But here’s one that people from many countries have trouble with:
They stole him the car.
= They stole the car for him.
(They stole the car and gave it to him.)
This does NOT mean, “They stole his car.”
The problem learners have in this case is that in their languages the indirect object would indicate that they did something to him (something bad to hurt him), but in fact it means they did something for him (he wanted a car, so they stole one for him).
Basically, as the other posters have said, you have to figure out whether something bad was done to someone (to him), or for his benefit (for him). Thirdly, if something is going in someone’s direction (being sent, given, etc.), then you need the preposition to.
Hello Jamie, Mister Micawber, Caroline.
Thank you for your explanations, you are very helpful!!! 
And, Jamie, you are quite right, I am of Slavonic origin, I am Russian, living in Ukraine. Thank you for making things easier to understand!!!
Sometimes we say “to me,It’s …”,sometimes we say “for me,It’s…” so where should I use “for me” or “to me”. Is it only the difference between Britain E and American E?