This came up when I was searching for neither/nor

Who managed to solve the problem?

[1] Neither me nor my friend was able to solve it.
[2] Neither me nor my friend were able to solve it.
[3] Neither I nor my friend was able to solve it.
[4] Neither I nor my friend were able to solve it.

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In informal contexts [1] Neither me nor my friend was able to solve it.
In formal contexts [3] Neither I nor my friend was able to solve it.
(However, Neither my friend nor I was able to solve it would still be better because the usual and conventional order of pronouns is 2, 3 and 1 - You, he and I)

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Why isn’t the plural possible here? Isn’t the ultimate pronoun in a case like this be “we”? Since it’s my friend and I, and the result was the same, both didn’t manage to solve the problem.

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The correlative conjunctions neither … nor and either … or always suggest this in layman’s language: Not this or Not that and This or That respectively.
And the rule of proximity applies here. Accordingly the number of the subject that precedes the verb will determine whether the verb should be singular or plural.

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