Hi kitosdad
please can you assess this essay.
Thanks in advance.
The pie-chart gives information on how Americans spend their money of a total $1.2 trillion. Write a short description of the pie-chart.
The pie chart illustrates the distribution of budgets, american people spend in their general lives, the amount of money is in total 1.2 trillion.
obviously, the bulk of money is allocated on food, drinks, and tobacco at just under the a quarter of total budget 23%. after that, expenditures on house, and household are fairly similar at 15% each. while 13% of the total expenses is spent on transportation.
Clothes, jewelry and recreation are account for 15% combined together while they represent 8% and 7% respectively for each lonely.
Other expenditures go for personal care, foreign travel, and religion charity at the same percentage merely 1% for each. surprisingly the expense of education is quite little only 2%. whilst 5% for personal business.
To sum up, the large expenditures are go for food, drinks ,and tobacco, simultaneously, the spending on house issues is also constitutes a big amount of total budget , while the other life sectors only comprise half of the total sum.
TOEFL listening lectures: Which aspect of bee behavior does the professor mainly discuss?
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[color=darkblue][b]Hi kitosdad
please can you assess this essay.
Thanks in advance.[/b]
The pie-chart gives information on how Americans spend their money of a total $1.2 trillion. Write a short description of the pie-chart.
The pie chart illustrates the distribution of budgets, American people spend in their lives(.) The TOTAL amount of money SPENT totalS 1.2 trillion.
Obviously the bulk of money is allocated on food, drinks, and tobacco(,) at just under a quarter of THE total budget 23%. After that expenditures on THE HOME and household are fairly similar at 15% each(,) while 13% of the total expenses ARE spent on transportation.
Clothes, jewellery and recreation account for 15% combined(,) while they represent 8% and 7% respectively.
Other expenditures go ON personal care, foreign travel, and religioUS charitIES at the same percentage; merely 1% for each. Surprisingly the MONEY SPENT ON education is quite SMALL(,) only 2%. Whilst 5% IS USED for personal business.
To sum up, the largeST expenditure IS for food, drinks ,and tobacco(.) Simultaneously, the spending on HOME issues also constitutes a LARGE amount of THE total budget , while the other life sectors only comprise half of the total sum.
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Sam, your punctuation needs your urgent attention. It is making your work futile.
Kitos.
Sorry kitos, sometimes I write in a hurry, but I promise you I will be more attention to the coming essays.
[color=darkblue]Please can you assess it?
But in this graph I made only few mistakes, where is the cause that made it poor?