The foreign country I would like to visit for two weeks

English as a Second Language Preparation for and help with the TOEFL® Test and
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Would you mind helping me correct the essay about the topic below? Thank you very much.

Topic: You have the opportunity to visit a foreign country for two weeks. Which country would you like to visit? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.

If I have the opportunity to visit a foreign country for two weeks, I would like to visit America. America not only famous for its strong economy, but also many other areas of it have developed, including tourism. The following three reasons will prove that I should travel to America at least once in my life.

First and foremost, America is the most multiethnic, multicultural nation in the world. People from all over the world are most likely to migrate here, and many of them continue to have their own families, further creating racial diversity. Each individual in America has a background in education as well as different religions, cultural traditions and political beliefs that create a unique diversity. Approaching such a multicultural life is truly a rewarding experience.

In the second place, America is the country of bustling cities and skyscrapers. I like the nightlife, the bustling atmosphere in big cities, so America is a perfect destination. In addition, small towns also have many comfortable and enjoyable experiences for visitors. The great thing in America is that I can easily find a suitable place for myself whether it is the bustling streets of New York City or the fresh, peaceful lawns in the southern states.

Finally, America is attractive with diverse and typical cuisine. Diversity and characteristics are the most basic features when it comes to American food. There are classic American cuisines like fried chicken, cheese pasta and tuna meat, but there are plenty of places to find food inspired by other countries. Whenever I am in the mood to eat, American kitchens will be a paradise for me.

To sum up briefly, America is a great choice. When coming to America, I will not only encounter many different cultures, learn a lot of new things, but also discover famous landmarks or enjoy many interesting dishes. Certainly, this will be an extremely ideal destination for any tourist.

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Hello @PhuongDu and thank you for posting your essay!

First of all, this is an exceptionally well-written essay. I haven’t been able to find any spelling or grammar mistakes, so good work! I only have one suggestion:

In the second place, America is the country of bustling cities and skyscrapers. I like the nightlife, the bustling atmosphere in big cities, so America is a perfect destination. In addition, small towns also have many comfortable and enjoyable experiences for visitors. The great thing in America is that I can easily find a suitable place for myself whether it is the bustling streets of New York City or the fresh, peaceful lawns in the southern states.

In just one paragraph, you’re using the adjective “bustling” three times. I would rather find a synonym (like vibrant, hectic, busy, etc.) to change it up a little bit. That’s why rereading is so important! Try imagining you’re reading someone else’s work (if you can, let it rest a little bit and come back to it when your mind is refreshed) and just scan it before reading in depth. That way, repeated words jump right out of you.

All in all, good job! And I hope you get to visit the US sometime :slight_smile:

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I agree with you, Sumejja. PhuongDu has written a great essay. There is just one thing I’d like to point out, though. By definition, America is neither a nation nor a country. It’s a continent which is divided in a southern and a northern part. Yes, we often refer to the United States of America as just ‘America’ and the incumbent president is trying to ‘make America great again’ but still, America is much more than just the US.

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