'The extended family is less important than it was in the past' Plz help me check

Like many other countries in the interconnected world, Vietnamese society has transformed itself from agriculture-based one into pre-industrial society. Though a lot of changes have appeared, one of the most dramatic change is the decline in importance of extended family in which several generations live together. In my own opinion, I strongly agree that modern nuclear family would bring many advantages over traditional extended family. The following reason will support my view.
First, from aspect of social changing, one might say that extended family can only be suitable in the period of pre-modern societies which are heavily based on agriculture activities. Therefore, the more people there are in a family, the more human power the family has. This means that human power is a secure for a better crop in order to maintain food supply for whole family members. As the progress has been made, societies all around the world are no longer relied on food supply as productivity in agriculture sector is pacing at fast speed. The requirements of human power will not play an important role as it was. Therefore, extended family seems to decline in numbers. As I was a kid, my family seemed to be very big family but now time has passed, we have seperated with my grandparents, my uncles and aunts to live in our own small family with my parents and I.
Second, from the view of benefit of nuclear family is undeniable. In extended family where many people stay together, it would be difficult to harmonize the different point of views of different generations. For one simple thing, the different taste in food of each person would be a topic of arguments among family members. Moreover, extended family with large number of family members would be quite difficult to devote suitable time for educating and taking care of the children in family. In contrast, in nuclear family, parents can spend more time taking care their kids. In my family, my parents can give me a better care than the time I stayed in my extended family in small town.
Thirdly, as more and more population have arised in modern society, it is difficult to have large space like big houses for extended families once occupied. In modern time, it would be usual for families to stay in small houses in high buildings or apartments. In most case, the small space in contemporary cities will be a large hinderance to the survival of extended family as it is usually leads to conflict among family members. In most big cities, it is hard to find a family with 3 or 4 generations to stay together.
To sum up, the extended family seems to be in decline in modern societies as the changing of modern social life-style. In other words, model of extended families has gone through their heyday as in pre-modern societies. To replace it, the nuclear family comes on stage.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the professor mention the weather at the beginning of his lecture?

Hi Keeptrying, I thought this essay was pretty good. You have some good ideas and your essay is pretty persuasive. I did not really like your topic sentences that much - it is better to introduce your reason in each paragraph as soon as possible. You also had a lot of problems with your article used. Most of your writing sounded very natural though, with few awkward or unclear phrases. Overall, I would rate this a 4 out of 5.

Thank you so much, I will try more next time !