The college years are the best time in a person’s life

[Jamhosseini]

The university is the entrance to one’s future. It is the place where people can turn their dreams in to reality and the conditions in the college are generally set so that they are conducive to help everyone succeed. So, success in college almost assures once success in his or her future. This is the last stage before one gets into job and so is the best time to enjoy in these days, I completely agree that the college years are the best time in person’s life in three reasons include Firstly, feeling freedom. Secondly, making decision on majors and familiering with different people. Thirdly, experience the least stressful environment.
Firstly, this is the first time when people get their freedom after high school which makes the college really excited for the people. As the university is the microcosm of the society, the people who are studying in college will learn to live in the society in these years. In addition, it is total different experience where people living in dorms keep their doors open all the time and watch movies up till 3 am in their rooms. Consequently, all of these things make the college years totally different.

Secondly, at this time they will have their choice to pick up their major and they will not study anymore those subjects which they hate. Besides this, most of the students will try to explore all the subjects and decide their major when they are about to enter their junior year. If you are studying in a diverse country like Iran, you will be meeting all the people from different parts of the world and you can also learn about different cultures which can be exciting for some people.

Thirdly, these days are the least stressful when compared with other times. They will not have any stress on them to take care of their spouse or family and most college students are not financially independent. Most of them rely on their families for funding all the needs and they must not spend time for making money. Hence, they really concentrate on their education and can also enjoy on weekends.

After all , although, if the person taking advantage of his freedom and becomes an alcoholic addict or starts smoking, these years may turn out the worst as these habits sometimes have profound consequences on their future, if the person tries to take advantage of all the possibilities in their university, these years remain fruitful to them all over their life.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of Natural History

[Luschen]

Hi Jamhosseini, welcome to the forum. I think you have done a pretty good job on this essay. Your writing is pretty clear and understandable, though you do have quite a few odd or unnatural sounding phrases. You have addressed the prompt correctly, but your paragraphs could be better organized and your topic sentence could be better. Your support is ok, but it would be nice to have some more specific or maybe personal examples. Overall, I would rate this a 3.5 out of 5.

@Jamhosseini

The university is the entrance to one’s future. It is the place where people can turn their dreams in to[into] reality and the conditions in the college are generally set so that they are conducive to help everyone succeed. {this last clause sounds a little awkward} So, success in college almost assures once[one] success in his or her future. This is the last stage before one gets into job{“enters a career” sounds better} and so is the best time to enjoy in these days,{this last phrase sounds odd} {period - this is a comma-splice run on sentence} I completely agree that the college years are the best time in [a] person’s life in[for] three reasons[, including] include Firstly, feeling freedom. Secondly, making decision on majors and familiering with different people. Thirdly, experience the least stressful environment. {this thesis sentence - or rather sentences really, is pretty weak. This is the most important sentence in the whole essay, so it needs to be perfect . Maybe “I completely agree that the college years are the best time in a person’s life because university students are able to get a feeling of freedom, come to know other people, and experience a less stressful environment.”}
Firstly, this is the first time when people get their freedom after high school[,] which makes the college really excit[ing] for the[se] people.{try to use something more specific than “people” here} As the university is the microcosm of the society, the people who are studying in college will learn to live in the society in these years.{this idea does not really seem related to your topic sentence - what does this have to do with freedom?} In addition, it is [a] total[ly] different experience where people living in dorms keep their doors open all the time and watch movies up till 3 am in their rooms. Consequently, all of these things make the college years totally different.{each year different from each other or all the years different from something else? A little unclear}

Secondly, at this time they {“they” sounds pretty vague here - try to avoid the pronoun, at least in the topic sentence} will have their choice to pick up their major and they will not [no longer] study anymore those subjects which[that] they hate. {how does this relate to your thesis statement? Each topic sentence should address one reason stated in your thesis} Besides this, most of the students will try to explore all the subjects and decide their major when they are about to enter their junior year. If you are studying in a diverse country like Iran, you will be meeting all the people from different parts of the world and you can also learn about different cultures which can be exciting for some people. {this paragraph seems to have two very distinct ideas - make sure each paragraph is unified}

Thirdly, these days are the least stressful when compared with other times. They [Students] will not have any stress on them to take care of their spouse or family and most college students are not financially independent. Most of them rely on their families for funding all the[ir] needs and they must [need] not spend time for making money. Hence, they really concentrate on their education and can also enjoy on weekends.{either “enjoy weekends” or “enjoy themselves on weekends”}

After all {“after all” is not really a good transition for a conclusion - it is usually used to give a supporting reason} , although, if the person taking[takes] advantage of his freedom and becomes an alcoholic addict {“addict” is redundant here} or starts smoking, these years may turn out the worst[,] as these habits sometimes have profound consequences on their future, if the person tries to take advantage of all the possibilities in their university, these years remain fruitful to them all over[throughout] their life.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of Natural History