terminal embarrassment and vicarious identification

English as a Second Language English Vocabulary, Grammar and Idioms
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Here is the paragraph:

    My mother was always expressing her love. [b]She used guilt, martyrdom, terminal embarrassment, and vicarious identification with her children as manipulative tools, all without a second thought.[/b]
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Help me with that sentence

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The author is being sarcastic about his mother. He is indicating that in dealing with her child(ren) she would show them how much she loved them by:
making them feel guilty – for example, about no helping around the house more (guilt)
telling /showing them she did so much for them that she was a martyr - willing to give up so much for them (martyrdom)
making them embarrassed in front of other people to the point where they wanted to curl up and die. (terminal embarrassment)
saying/showing that she was just like them (vicarious identification with her children)
She used these things like tools to get her child(ren) to do what she wanted(as manipulative tools). She did it naturally, without planning or plotting (without a second thought).

If that is a passage from a book which uses that level of vocabulary throughout, it may be a little difficult for you.

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Nah, only that sentence was that difficult to understand. Wow, did you see the dictionary? or did you know the meaning the moment you saw the sentence Beesneees. I am asking you because you are a native speaker and I was just curious about the English people. Also even if I see such a kind of sentence in my native language I would suffer. Just curious, that’s all.

Expecting your reply.

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I didn’t have to use a dictionary, but I do consider myself to be relatively well-educated.
I would class that sentence harder than average for a native English speaker, which is why I wondered if the whole article or book was of a similar standard.

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Yes, you are right. That sentence was somewhat difficult to understand. You are awesome Beeesneees.

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Not awesome, just reasonable well read.
It’s my native tongue, after all.
You (and the other learners here) are the awesome ones.

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Ha ha. I love English.

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saying/showing that she was just like them (vicarious identification with her children)

Please further elaborated this? What is vicarious identification? How can use mother vicarious identification with her children?

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